NANOWRMO!
It’s finally Here!
I am clueless on what to write as of yet and I have the document open at this time but not even the first sentence is written and no characters are yet set in concrete.
I will need to write in the morning right after dropping off the two oldest at school and before the youngest wakes up.
I am going now wish me luck!
Hmmm! The Novel to Write??
I’m still not quite sure what type of novel I am going to write starting November 1st for the National Novel Writing in a Month (NaNoWriMo) I will write. I have written two about adults dealing with different types of disabilities but I think it is time to write one for teenagers so that they can better understand that disabled persons are just like everyone else just may have a different way of doing things.
I know as I was growing up I think I only read one such book and now I cannot even remember the title or even author of the book. I just know now is the time to do such a book.
I know as I was growing up I think I only read one such book and now I cannot even remember the title or even author of the book. I just know now is the time to do such a book.
No Excuses, Again
Sorry I Have Been Neglecting My Blog
Life Goes On
Just dealing with the everyday go-a-rounds that happens at the house with three kids, two of which are in school. I find that getting the two off in the morning takes much of my energy as they are exactly like daddy and myself and hate early mornings.
Anyway, sorry so short but really life is rather mundane around here and thus things are boring. I will try and update when I can.
I may be very spotty as I am gearing up to NaNoWriMo, www.nanowrimo.org, which stands for National Novel Writing in a Month starting in November. I have written two novels in the past two years during the past two Novembers and have tried a total of three times.
Bye, for now.
Life Goes On
Just dealing with the everyday go-a-rounds that happens at the house with three kids, two of which are in school. I find that getting the two off in the morning takes much of my energy as they are exactly like daddy and myself and hate early mornings.
Anyway, sorry so short but really life is rather mundane around here and thus things are boring. I will try and update when I can.
I may be very spotty as I am gearing up to NaNoWriMo, www.nanowrimo.org, which stands for National Novel Writing in a Month starting in November. I have written two novels in the past two years during the past two Novembers and have tried a total of three times.
Bye, for now.
No, Full Night's Sleep
Dumb Ole Allergies
Attacked Older Girl
Thus the one night that I could sleep all night without my lovely man snoring in my ear she woke me up in the middle of the night complaining of a cough and sore throat. Geesh, I think I need to be sent to OKC next time when my husband has a meeting there. I will help put together course with the Board of Regents just so that I can get a full nights sleep with no interruptions.
Anyway, I am beat and know that you do not want to hear me complain the whole post so I will stop and change topics.
Son’s First Football Game
Ok so they did not win, heck they didn’t even score and got run over by the other team, which scored 38 points. Son played as a sub-er thus he went in when another player needed a break – not surprising really as he is he had been gone for a practice and he is rather small compared to the other players. I am just glad he got to play at all and even happier that he did not get hurt.
Attacked Older Girl
Thus the one night that I could sleep all night without my lovely man snoring in my ear she woke me up in the middle of the night complaining of a cough and sore throat. Geesh, I think I need to be sent to OKC next time when my husband has a meeting there. I will help put together course with the Board of Regents just so that I can get a full nights sleep with no interruptions.
Anyway, I am beat and know that you do not want to hear me complain the whole post so I will stop and change topics.
Son’s First Football Game
Ok so they did not win, heck they didn’t even score and got run over by the other team, which scored 38 points. Son played as a sub-er thus he went in when another player needed a break – not surprising really as he is he had been gone for a practice and he is rather small compared to the other players. I am just glad he got to play at all and even happier that he did not get hurt.
Weekend Over
Thankfully!
Almost Back to Normal
The only thing is my son is staying home from school today, as he is not feeling well. I think he tried to do too much too soon after recovering from a cold he had Friday and Saturday. He did go outside last night to play with some friends and that is probably what is keeping him home today. He was fine until this morning and he even spent a night at a friend’s house Sunday night.
My daughter did really well when I dropped her off this morning, which is always a nice thing to have happen. I was also surprised because she ended up waking up in the middle of the night so I was scared that today would turn out bad.
Almost Back to Normal
The only thing is my son is staying home from school today, as he is not feeling well. I think he tried to do too much too soon after recovering from a cold he had Friday and Saturday. He did go outside last night to play with some friends and that is probably what is keeping him home today. He was fine until this morning and he even spent a night at a friend’s house Sunday night.
My daughter did really well when I dropped her off this morning, which is always a nice thing to have happen. I was also surprised because she ended up waking up in the middle of the night so I was scared that today would turn out bad.
The Weekend
Nothing Really Planned
Like All the Others
The only real thing planned is sleep. We may go to the college’s first home game of the football season but other than that I plan to relax all weekend long. I, of course, will have to keep reminding my middle child that there is no school until Tuesday and that will be the pain I deal with all year long. There are times I wish that there were no such thing as weekends because it just confuses the younger of the school-age children.
I will probably try and re-introduce my middle child again to sleeping on her bed with sheets and a blanket, or the like. She basically sleeps on the mattress inner-midst her toys and other junk she places all around her. The thing is first I will have to find her bed under all the toys and such already on her bed. OK, so I have my work cut out for me what am I still doing sitting her at the computer…Gotta go!
Like All the Others
The only real thing planned is sleep. We may go to the college’s first home game of the football season but other than that I plan to relax all weekend long. I, of course, will have to keep reminding my middle child that there is no school until Tuesday and that will be the pain I deal with all year long. There are times I wish that there were no such thing as weekends because it just confuses the younger of the school-age children.
I will probably try and re-introduce my middle child again to sleeping on her bed with sheets and a blanket, or the like. She basically sleeps on the mattress inner-midst her toys and other junk she places all around her. The thing is first I will have to find her bed under all the toys and such already on her bed. OK, so I have my work cut out for me what am I still doing sitting her at the computer…Gotta go!
Thankfully
Back To Normal
The Girls Slept Through the Night
I was thus able to get the amount of sleep needed to make me feel semi-normal again. I do have a headache at the moment but that is nothing related to sleep or anything the girls have done as I get them all the time. I think I may just lay down before I have to pick up my middle girl from school at 11:30.
The Girls Slept Through the Night
I was thus able to get the amount of sleep needed to make me feel semi-normal again. I do have a headache at the moment but that is nothing related to sleep or anything the girls have done as I get them all the time. I think I may just lay down before I have to pick up my middle girl from school at 11:30.
Time Has Come
NANOWRMO!
It’s finally Here!
I am clueless on what to write as of yet and I have the document open at this time but not even the first sentence is written and no characters are yet set in concrete.
I will need to write in the morning right after dropping off the two oldest at school and before the youngest wakes up.
I am going now wish me luck!
It’s finally Here!
I am clueless on what to write as of yet and I have the document open at this time but not even the first sentence is written and no characters are yet set in concrete.
I will need to write in the morning right after dropping off the two oldest at school and before the youngest wakes up.
I am going now wish me luck!
Happy, Happy!
YAY!
For Two Reasons
Number one: My Microsoft Word 2000 is finally working again and I got everything running the proper way!
Number two: My middle daughter finally went poop in the potty the proper way. I know I am far away from being fully potty trained but we are closer than we were yesterday. I should throw a party but we probably won’t at least not until we have kept our underwear clean for a week.
Anyway, I am back again and you will probably see too much of me now!
For Two Reasons
Number one: My Microsoft Word 2000 is finally working again and I got everything running the proper way!
Number two: My middle daughter finally went poop in the potty the proper way. I know I am far away from being fully potty trained but we are closer than we were yesterday. I should throw a party but we probably won’t at least not until we have kept our underwear clean for a week.
Anyway, I am back again and you will probably see too much of me now!
Raining Cats and Dogs
Almost Literally!
I woke up this morning to the sound of a deluge of rain. I keep hoping that I hear that the kids school is closed but as of 7 A.M. I have heard nothing and expect nothing. The fear I have is in regards to where I drop off my girl because it is a gravel area and I can just imagine my Mazda becoming flooded. I may just go ahead and go through the school's front door even though it is a pain in the arse because the school makes me fill out a visitor's pass and get a badge just to drop her off through the front door.
---
(Half hour after starting entry!) OK, so drop off is done and I am back here writing again. The whole town is under water, it seems, but school is in session.
When I got back from that task I had to take the dogs out a different way then I normally do because again our backyard area is a mud pit and thus the dogs could not go out the way they are used to doing. What I did for Henry was take him out through the garage chaining him to a tree and then bringing him in after he did his business -- he is just too big and powerful for me to take him for a regular walk. Snickers on the other hand was rather easy because she is easy to walk on the leash and thus I could take her out like I was going to take her on a walk.
---
Oh and by the way my Word 2000 is on the fritz and I am not sure why but even removing it and then re-installing it did not work. The only way I can use it is going through one of my other user sites (or whatever it is called).
Sigh! Life! Hehe!
I woke up this morning to the sound of a deluge of rain. I keep hoping that I hear that the kids school is closed but as of 7 A.M. I have heard nothing and expect nothing. The fear I have is in regards to where I drop off my girl because it is a gravel area and I can just imagine my Mazda becoming flooded. I may just go ahead and go through the school's front door even though it is a pain in the arse because the school makes me fill out a visitor's pass and get a badge just to drop her off through the front door.
---
(Half hour after starting entry!) OK, so drop off is done and I am back here writing again. The whole town is under water, it seems, but school is in session.
When I got back from that task I had to take the dogs out a different way then I normally do because again our backyard area is a mud pit and thus the dogs could not go out the way they are used to doing. What I did for Henry was take him out through the garage chaining him to a tree and then bringing him in after he did his business -- he is just too big and powerful for me to take him for a regular walk. Snickers on the other hand was rather easy because she is easy to walk on the leash and thus I could take her out like I was going to take her on a walk.
---
Oh and by the way my Word 2000 is on the fritz and I am not sure why but even removing it and then re-installing it did not work. The only way I can use it is going through one of my other user sites (or whatever it is called).
Sigh! Life! Hehe!
It's Almost the Weekend
I’m so Tired
I was lucky though
I did get to sleep all night, which was a change from the night before when I was rudely awoken at 4 A.M. by as snoring man next to me. My daughter woke me up this morning at 7 A.M., which was nice because it meant I did not have to try and get her up myself. We are still working on her understanding that there is a process we must go through before going to school every morning but eventually I think we will get it. I am worried about the weekend though as she will not understand that on those certain days of the week we do not get to go to school.
I was lucky though
I did get to sleep all night, which was a change from the night before when I was rudely awoken at 4 A.M. by as snoring man next to me. My daughter woke me up this morning at 7 A.M., which was nice because it meant I did not have to try and get her up myself. We are still working on her understanding that there is a process we must go through before going to school every morning but eventually I think we will get it. I am worried about the weekend though as she will not understand that on those certain days of the week we do not get to go to school.
School Has Started
So I am Trying to Get Back
Into the Swing of Writing Daily
As of this last Monday, August 14th, my two older kids are in school: one in pre-K the other in 5th grade. My youngest child is basking in the fact that she does not have to fight over toys and space at least during the morning hours.
My son’s 5th grade class has gotten smaller than his 4th grade as there were many kids who have left. There are only three of the original seven kids left from his pre-K class: there is only eight kids in the class at the moment.
Anyway, I am back hopefully on a more permanent and often basis.
Into the Swing of Writing Daily
As of this last Monday, August 14th, my two older kids are in school: one in pre-K the other in 5th grade. My youngest child is basking in the fact that she does not have to fight over toys and space at least during the morning hours.
My son’s 5th grade class has gotten smaller than his 4th grade as there were many kids who have left. There are only three of the original seven kids left from his pre-K class: there is only eight kids in the class at the moment.
Anyway, I am back hopefully on a more permanent and often basis.
The Joys of....
Getting Ready For School
Debating --
Should I try and catch some great deals down in Texas while they are having their tax-free weekend? The thing is with the gas prices at $3.00/gallon is it worth saving about ten dollars. The other factor is that there is only one store other than Wal-Mart in Guymon. My other option is to go up to Liberal, KS which will not have as many people but has JCPenney’s, my other favorite haunt.
Sigh, to many things to think about! I wish I could just do everything online, but the kid’s would then not be able to try things on and therefore they may not fit properly.
Debating --
Should I try and catch some great deals down in Texas while they are having their tax-free weekend? The thing is with the gas prices at $3.00/gallon is it worth saving about ten dollars. The other factor is that there is only one store other than Wal-Mart in Guymon. My other option is to go up to Liberal, KS which will not have as many people but has JCPenney’s, my other favorite haunt.
Sigh, to many things to think about! I wish I could just do everything online, but the kid’s would then not be able to try things on and therefore they may not fit properly.
What Do I have to Do?
To Get Physical Plant to Help
They had two weeks
Nothing got done. I asked them to do one simple thing that should take them about half a day and it was not done. The thing I asked them to do was dig up the bricks in the backyard and help put up our new fence and nothing was touched and weeds there are above my knees. I guess I will have to go out there again and start digging again.
If I could just get them to help me this once I could keep it up as I am planning to plant grass instead of having a mud pit every time it rains. The other thing that happens each time is the mud is then tracked throughout the house as the dogs come in and get it everywhere. I am sick of having to clean up after them. I already have three kids and five cats to pick up after.
They had two weeks
Nothing got done. I asked them to do one simple thing that should take them about half a day and it was not done. The thing I asked them to do was dig up the bricks in the backyard and help put up our new fence and nothing was touched and weeds there are above my knees. I guess I will have to go out there again and start digging again.
If I could just get them to help me this once I could keep it up as I am planning to plant grass instead of having a mud pit every time it rains. The other thing that happens each time is the mud is then tracked throughout the house as the dogs come in and get it everywhere. I am sick of having to clean up after them. I already have three kids and five cats to pick up after.
Soon to be Leaving
Of course we are leaving, the heat wave is breaking, and thus the weather will be going back to normal here -- we will now go where we feel like we belong in the hot hot weather. It is not fair because we wanted to escape from the heat and we never really did get a chance.
We did have a whole bunch of fun but I think we are all ready to get back to our own lives and such. I am ready for my own computer and the feeling that I am invading on other people's space.
I do know that there are still things my parents want me to do, like go through boxes upon boxes of junk that they have been keeping for me for the last eleven years. The thing is I was asked yesterday when I could do it knowing that I was leaving on Saturday. I have been here two weeks and now he asks.
We did have a whole bunch of fun but I think we are all ready to get back to our own lives and such. I am ready for my own computer and the feeling that I am invading on other people's space.
I do know that there are still things my parents want me to do, like go through boxes upon boxes of junk that they have been keeping for me for the last eleven years. The thing is I was asked yesterday when I could do it knowing that I was leaving on Saturday. I have been here two weeks and now he asks.
A Few More Days...
And then we will be headed home. I am kind of ready but kind of not. I am starting to miss the faster pace of life and the way of life. Although, I cannot say I miss the fact that there is more traffic and the inability to send my son down the street to play with the neighborhood kids. I would like some day to get more west than where we currently are but California may never happen because of the expense and the fact that we would almost have to have three jobs or more between the two of us adults.
Had a Wonderful Time
Hubby and I had a fantastically wonderful time in Santa Barbara. The weekend excursion was the first time we had gotten away, together, without the kids in tow. The nicest thing was not having to deal with the kids telling us they wanted to go here or there and that they wanted to go home. We just enjoyed each others company and sometimes just sitting in silence.
The kids had a lot of fun with the grandparents (my parents) and even got to go see the monkeys at the Santa Ana zoo. On Sunday they stayed around the house because it was raining, thundering and lightning which is unusual for them here in Orange County.
The kids had a lot of fun with the grandparents (my parents) and even got to go see the monkeys at the Santa Ana zoo. On Sunday they stayed around the house because it was raining, thundering and lightning which is unusual for them here in Orange County.
Disneyland Done!
My son and I went to Disneyland yesterday and had a great time. We ended up going on Space Mountain, Big Thunder Mountain, and Splash Mountain twice and we also went on: Matterhorn, Haunted Mansion, and Pirates of the Carriabian. We also saw the laser show and fireworks before leaving the park to come home.
Needless to say I think every bone in my body aches. We were very glad to get back into the car at the end of the day.
I will be gone from the computer this weekend as this is James and my's getaway weekend in Santa Barbara so wish my parents good luck and a prayer that they get through the weekend in one piece.
Needless to say I think every bone in my body aches. We were very glad to get back into the car at the end of the day.
I will be gone from the computer this weekend as this is James and my's getaway weekend in Santa Barbara so wish my parents good luck and a prayer that they get through the weekend in one piece.
Another Day
Not sure what we are going to do today but I am going to try and get out of the house and do something. I would like to go down to the Huntington Beach Pier although I am not sure that James wants to do that with the three kids. The thing is it is cooler on the coast than it is inland so I thought with tons of sunscreen we would be safe.
Went to the Park
I took the two older kids to Tri-City Park and got the younger of the two so tired that the younger of the two actually took a long nap -- thus I did a great job and conquered the goal I set for myself.
In my opinion the actual park has not changed in the last eleven years since I left this fine area. Of course everything else has changed and grown tremendously. The few of you that actaylly read this and have lived in the area would not recognize much of it and definitely would get lost even going down the various roads that are still here.
I personally would not like to move back to Orange County ever again unless many of these people moved elsewhere. I am fine with smaller cities like Guymon and towns like Goodwell -- I know that is the hometown girl in me. Although no one ever will be able to take parts of the city girl in me away just never place me in the center of a big city and tell me to live here.
I am now waiting for the laundry to finish so I can fold it and go directly to bed.
In my opinion the actual park has not changed in the last eleven years since I left this fine area. Of course everything else has changed and grown tremendously. The few of you that actaylly read this and have lived in the area would not recognize much of it and definitely would get lost even going down the various roads that are still here.
I personally would not like to move back to Orange County ever again unless many of these people moved elsewhere. I am fine with smaller cities like Guymon and towns like Goodwell -- I know that is the hometown girl in me. Although no one ever will be able to take parts of the city girl in me away just never place me in the center of a big city and tell me to live here.
I am now waiting for the laundry to finish so I can fold it and go directly to bed.
Made it to Destination
We made it in good time as well. We were here between eight and nine there time and we got to relax and see the granparents before they went to bed. Anyway, I am still rather tired and thus I am not feeling like writing but I will give you updates when I can.
The Humidity
Is Slowly Melting Me Away
I will be so glad to be in dry heat even if half of one county we must pass by is on fire and the state will be going through a dang heat wave. I know with having lived in Columbia, MO, which has very high humidity in the summer that I should be used to the humid wet air but I hate it and I will never come to comfortable terms with it.
The dogs are in at the vet being boarded and Snicker’s is going to be spayed so that no baby pups will exist ever in her lifetime by her. I would hate to know what kind of puppies we would end up with by breeding a Brittany with a Shepherd Mix.
We will be leaving sometime tomorrow afternoon hopefully getting the kids tired and needing a nap when we get in the car. Anyway for now I shall sign off and hope that I can update you all on vacation plans and happenings while we are there.
I will be so glad to be in dry heat even if half of one county we must pass by is on fire and the state will be going through a dang heat wave. I know with having lived in Columbia, MO, which has very high humidity in the summer that I should be used to the humid wet air but I hate it and I will never come to comfortable terms with it.
The dogs are in at the vet being boarded and Snicker’s is going to be spayed so that no baby pups will exist ever in her lifetime by her. I would hate to know what kind of puppies we would end up with by breeding a Brittany with a Shepherd Mix.
We will be leaving sometime tomorrow afternoon hopefully getting the kids tired and needing a nap when we get in the car. Anyway for now I shall sign off and hope that I can update you all on vacation plans and happenings while we are there.
Twelve Years Ago
Hubby bought me Offspring’s Smash
And now I can barely ever listen to it
Hubby is scared to death and hides when he hears the Offspring playing in our house. He associates the music to my darkest days and thus escapes the house pretty fast when he hears it. Well, I just found it again and I am playing it while he is away.
No worries though because this time around I am in a great mood and loving life, for the first time in a very long while. Prozac is working too overly well, I think. Hubby is finding parts of the house cleaned that have not been touched in ages and ages, if ever. I can probably get the car in the garage for the first time since our middle child was born I still need to work on our bedroom but that will come with time and probably after the two older kids go off to school.
And now I can barely ever listen to it
Hubby is scared to death and hides when he hears the Offspring playing in our house. He associates the music to my darkest days and thus escapes the house pretty fast when he hears it. Well, I just found it again and I am playing it while he is away.
No worries though because this time around I am in a great mood and loving life, for the first time in a very long while. Prozac is working too overly well, I think. Hubby is finding parts of the house cleaned that have not been touched in ages and ages, if ever. I can probably get the car in the garage for the first time since our middle child was born I still need to work on our bedroom but that will come with time and probably after the two older kids go off to school.
I am the Man of the House
OK So I Come In Female Form
Actually I am ready for my man to be back
I feel sorry for Henry as he is the only male in the house at the moment. All the rest of us are female. My son decided that he wanted to spend the night at his friend’s house for the second night in a row – normally I would have said no but I know that he has really missed his friend as he was gone the whole month of June and then of course we will be gone for awhile.
I am so ready for my hubby to come home and I know that the older of the two daughters really misses him. She got up at 5:30 a.m. wanting Daddy and of course only I was in the bed. I just hope she sleeps in tomorrow morning so that I can get a good night sleep and get through tomorrow as even though it is the day Daddy will be coming home I know it is going to seem rather long.
Actually I am ready for my man to be back
I feel sorry for Henry as he is the only male in the house at the moment. All the rest of us are female. My son decided that he wanted to spend the night at his friend’s house for the second night in a row – normally I would have said no but I know that he has really missed his friend as he was gone the whole month of June and then of course we will be gone for awhile.
I am so ready for my hubby to come home and I know that the older of the two daughters really misses him. She got up at 5:30 a.m. wanting Daddy and of course only I was in the bed. I just hope she sleeps in tomorrow morning so that I can get a good night sleep and get through tomorrow as even though it is the day Daddy will be coming home I know it is going to seem rather long.
Glasses Glasses Everywhere!
I Got My New Glass
My Vera Wang Originals
This is the first time I have gone with rectangle lenses and was rather concerned but I really like them. I did have some worries over the fact that my eyes were bugging out on me and everything seemed blurry on Friday but things seem to be okay now. I thought maybe the assistant at the doctor’s office had gotten the measurements wrong because I have a hard time keeping my eyes still when a green light is coming at my eye.
I have very little planned today. I was going to blow up our inflatable pool but the grass is still rather wet and I would like to wait until the grass dries out and needs a good soaking because the pool water will certainly do that for it. I may then just go to Wal-Mart and get my script for Trileptol so that I do not have to worry about it the rest of the week.
Anyway, I should get offline and get some things done.
My Vera Wang Originals
This is the first time I have gone with rectangle lenses and was rather concerned but I really like them. I did have some worries over the fact that my eyes were bugging out on me and everything seemed blurry on Friday but things seem to be okay now. I thought maybe the assistant at the doctor’s office had gotten the measurements wrong because I have a hard time keeping my eyes still when a green light is coming at my eye.
I have very little planned today. I was going to blow up our inflatable pool but the grass is still rather wet and I would like to wait until the grass dries out and needs a good soaking because the pool water will certainly do that for it. I may then just go to Wal-Mart and get my script for Trileptol so that I do not have to worry about it the rest of the week.
Anyway, I should get offline and get some things done.
Poochie is....
The Dog I Always Wanted
Poochie actually lies at the foot of my computer chair and actually relaxes. She will even allow the kids to play around her and she will not topple them over like Henry does. She has a much gentler demeanor unlike Cory (my Cocker Spaniel during my last five years in California), Snow, and if I have to mention Henry again, I will.
I did not get my walk in because there was a downpour about a half hour ago and I know that there are too many puddles to even try and go tonight. What that means is that I will not get one in at least until Wednesday evening unless I wanted to take the girls and the dog together.
Poochie actually lies at the foot of my computer chair and actually relaxes. She will even allow the kids to play around her and she will not topple them over like Henry does. She has a much gentler demeanor unlike Cory (my Cocker Spaniel during my last five years in California), Snow, and if I have to mention Henry again, I will.
I did not get my walk in because there was a downpour about a half hour ago and I know that there are too many puddles to even try and go tonight. What that means is that I will not get one in at least until Wednesday evening unless I wanted to take the girls and the dog together.
Day of Relaxation
My day has been a bunch of nothing. I spent it all at home relaxing. I will have three days without my hubby and thus it will be a very long beginning of the week. I am glad that I did get an inflatable pool for my older girl and myself. I am sure that I will allow my littlest one in it as well but not without my help and constant supervision; I know that sounds like a no brain-er but then again I do not want to remind all my readers that even the small pools can cause a any child to drown in.
We will be going to see family soon and thus I am not sure when my posts will come or even where they will be from at this time. Thankfully this time we will not have to worry about our Sammy “Hole Cat” as he has claimed the great outdoors, or someone else’s house, as his home. I really do miss Sammy but there is no way that we are going to force him back here after last time and his starvation experiment.
We will be going to see family soon and thus I am not sure when my posts will come or even where they will be from at this time. Thankfully this time we will not have to worry about our Sammy “Hole Cat” as he has claimed the great outdoors, or someone else’s house, as his home. I really do miss Sammy but there is no way that we are going to force him back here after last time and his starvation experiment.
Wore Him Out
After an Hour
Of Swimming
Yes, He was ready to go after an hour in the pool but I was a mean mom and mad him stay for an extra half-hour. I always feel like I am losing money if I do not stay for at least an hour and a half. You see, it is $1.50 to walk into the Noble Center and thus I want to get my money’s worth.
I did finally get a three-tiered inflatable pool for the girls, especially the older one, so that they would have their own water fun. I was lucky to find it as the last time I looked they had none out so when I saw several of them at Wal-Mart I grabbed.
I am thankful to say the older of the two daughters is doing much better and has had no accidents, except the expected ones at night and at nap (if she takes one). The culprit seems to have been the milk and so milk is no more in her diet and something I will have to remind the school lunchroom never to give her or at least in infrequent moderation. I really hate it though because I know how much she likes milk.
Of Swimming
Yes, He was ready to go after an hour in the pool but I was a mean mom and mad him stay for an extra half-hour. I always feel like I am losing money if I do not stay for at least an hour and a half. You see, it is $1.50 to walk into the Noble Center and thus I want to get my money’s worth.
I did finally get a three-tiered inflatable pool for the girls, especially the older one, so that they would have their own water fun. I was lucky to find it as the last time I looked they had none out so when I saw several of them at Wal-Mart I grabbed.
I am thankful to say the older of the two daughters is doing much better and has had no accidents, except the expected ones at night and at nap (if she takes one). The culprit seems to have been the milk and so milk is no more in her diet and something I will have to remind the school lunchroom never to give her or at least in infrequent moderation. I really hate it though because I know how much she likes milk.
Thank You, Hubby!
Thank You!
I know that I am blessed
I am blessed to have such a family that loves me so much and understands that a perfect day for me is not going to all the Fourth of July celebrations around the state and elsewhere. I would have loved to have gone to Columbia, MO where my first-born was born knowing that they have a great fireworks show. The thing about going many other places around here is the fireworks shows are just as good, if not worse than the ones that my neighbors do and I do not have to pay to see them, pay for them, or pay for the gas to get over to where they are. I am not a personal fireworks fan anyway.
I am watching The Thorn Birds right now on my new dvd/vcr player that I received for my birthday. Thank you, Hubby! I am the luckiest person in life to have a man such as him that if told enough times he remembers what I want for my birthday.
This evening we had a brownie cheesecake where I blew out my one candle after my family sang ‘Happy Birthday’!
I know that I am blessed
I am blessed to have such a family that loves me so much and understands that a perfect day for me is not going to all the Fourth of July celebrations around the state and elsewhere. I would have loved to have gone to Columbia, MO where my first-born was born knowing that they have a great fireworks show. The thing about going many other places around here is the fireworks shows are just as good, if not worse than the ones that my neighbors do and I do not have to pay to see them, pay for them, or pay for the gas to get over to where they are. I am not a personal fireworks fan anyway.
I am watching The Thorn Birds right now on my new dvd/vcr player that I received for my birthday. Thank you, Hubby! I am the luckiest person in life to have a man such as him that if told enough times he remembers what I want for my birthday.
This evening we had a brownie cheesecake where I blew out my one candle after my family sang ‘Happy Birthday’!
It's Somebody's Birthday!
OK, So It’s Mine!
Before you ask: I am 35!
Wow, I actually made it to live thirty-five years. Just to think I was not supposed to live past my first day of life as I was born about two months early and at that time there was very little available, in terms of neonatal intensive care interventions around in the very early seventies and before. Heck, all the doctors in Springfield, MO knew at the time was that I had some sort of brain damage. It was not until my mom and dad moved back to Orange County, CA and my mom sat at a doctor’s office until the doctor would see me that I was immediately diagnosed with having cerebral palsy.
These days it would have been a “No Duh!” diagnosis as the doctors have all new technologies available and such that would have had me diagnosed in less than a day or even before I was born. They probably could have even kept me in my mom’s womb longer if they had simple sonograms at the time.
Anyway, I am now headed to bed. Please have a safe Fourth and please do something safe that I will not be doing this year. I will probably just stay home and do nothing out of the ordinary. I did get a brownie cheesecake but there will be no booze and absolutely no fireworks in or around my home.
Before you ask: I am 35!
Wow, I actually made it to live thirty-five years. Just to think I was not supposed to live past my first day of life as I was born about two months early and at that time there was very little available, in terms of neonatal intensive care interventions around in the very early seventies and before. Heck, all the doctors in Springfield, MO knew at the time was that I had some sort of brain damage. It was not until my mom and dad moved back to Orange County, CA and my mom sat at a doctor’s office until the doctor would see me that I was immediately diagnosed with having cerebral palsy.
These days it would have been a “No Duh!” diagnosis as the doctors have all new technologies available and such that would have had me diagnosed in less than a day or even before I was born. They probably could have even kept me in my mom’s womb longer if they had simple sonograms at the time.
Anyway, I am now headed to bed. Please have a safe Fourth and please do something safe that I will not be doing this year. I will probably just stay home and do nothing out of the ordinary. I did get a brownie cheesecake but there will be no booze and absolutely no fireworks in or around my home.
Beaseball Season Over
Most Improved Player
One of two Players who received award
I am so proud of my son! He actually went through the whole baseball season without a fuss until the end when we made him play the day after the dg bite. Heck the dog bite ended up being like a lucky shirt or underwear -- he got the winning run that day.
He has also made some new friends that he would not have made otherwise. He actually spent the night at a baseball teammates house last night and I have not gotten a call from him, yet, begging to come home so I know he is having a good time.
Now what about middle daughter
Well, I think she is getting better and we have more than likely figured out her problem – she is lactose intolerant. She woke up today without poop in her pull-up. Thankfully that means we can start yet again with potty training. I am just so glad I did not have more than three children and I want no more because I am not sure how much more of this I can handle.
I do have to say that her Daddy should be very happy that she did not get everything from me. He is also lactose intolerant to the point where his throat closes up every time he eats more than a bowl of ice cream.
Baby Daughter
She is wonderful and I have to say she puts up with a lot of her sister’s antics that I know are difficult many a times. I will probably continue to remind her that she will only have to live with her for sixteen or so years and then the rest of her life she will be free from her.
She is walking everywhere and has almost given up crawling although she still favors crawling if she is trying to hurry to get somewhere, like through an open door. We have to especially keep her out of the kitchen because like our new puppy she will eat the cat food.
Anyway that is the kids this week. I wonder what next week will bring.
One of two Players who received award
I am so proud of my son! He actually went through the whole baseball season without a fuss until the end when we made him play the day after the dg bite. Heck the dog bite ended up being like a lucky shirt or underwear -- he got the winning run that day.
He has also made some new friends that he would not have made otherwise. He actually spent the night at a baseball teammates house last night and I have not gotten a call from him, yet, begging to come home so I know he is having a good time.
Now what about middle daughter
Well, I think she is getting better and we have more than likely figured out her problem – she is lactose intolerant. She woke up today without poop in her pull-up. Thankfully that means we can start yet again with potty training. I am just so glad I did not have more than three children and I want no more because I am not sure how much more of this I can handle.
I do have to say that her Daddy should be very happy that she did not get everything from me. He is also lactose intolerant to the point where his throat closes up every time he eats more than a bowl of ice cream.
Baby Daughter
She is wonderful and I have to say she puts up with a lot of her sister’s antics that I know are difficult many a times. I will probably continue to remind her that she will only have to live with her for sixteen or so years and then the rest of her life she will be free from her.
She is walking everywhere and has almost given up crawling although she still favors crawling if she is trying to hurry to get somewhere, like through an open door. We have to especially keep her out of the kitchen because like our new puppy she will eat the cat food.
Anyway that is the kids this week. I wonder what next week will bring.
Son Got Bite By a Dog
By Son’s Friend’s Neighbor’s Old Dog
Great! And my son ended up having to ride his own bike home from the friend’s house with his oversized, overnight, duffel bag on his back.
The dog bite was on his left leg by an old blind dog who probably got spooked or upset that the kids in the neighborhood were loud or simply bugging him. Most old dogs need no reason to bite; they just do because heck kids’ don’t heed the warning to leave the damn old dog alone.
I have to say the parents of the friend could have brought my son home instead of making him suffer all the way home. The good news is the bite looks superficial and he should be fine in a few days.
Great! And my son ended up having to ride his own bike home from the friend’s house with his oversized, overnight, duffel bag on his back.
The dog bite was on his left leg by an old blind dog who probably got spooked or upset that the kids in the neighborhood were loud or simply bugging him. Most old dogs need no reason to bite; they just do because heck kids’ don’t heed the warning to leave the damn old dog alone.
I have to say the parents of the friend could have brought my son home instead of making him suffer all the way home. The good news is the bite looks superficial and he should be fine in a few days.
No Swimming!
Dang it!
Chemicals again!
The fact is that the chemical imbalance is probably the thing that caused my eyes to go haywire after I swam the last time, which was last week sometime. You would think that five days would have been long enough to figure out how to balance the problem out. Then again this is Goodwell, a town and such that pretends that inexperienced persons have an expertise in the field that they are unqualified in – if that makes any sense.
I am going to have to start going on five thousand walks a day if this continues just to keep up my strength and be able to get down the length of the pool more than once. I have to say that I am rather frustrated by all of this inconvenience.
Chemicals again!
The fact is that the chemical imbalance is probably the thing that caused my eyes to go haywire after I swam the last time, which was last week sometime. You would think that five days would have been long enough to figure out how to balance the problem out. Then again this is Goodwell, a town and such that pretends that inexperienced persons have an expertise in the field that they are unqualified in – if that makes any sense.
I am going to have to start going on five thousand walks a day if this continues just to keep up my strength and be able to get down the length of the pool more than once. I have to say that I am rather frustrated by all of this inconvenience.
New!
Son’s Glasses That Is!
One Down, One to Go
Now, to get son to go swimming again. I am going no matter what because I need the time away from the girls and that is my best way. I also really like the time I get to spend with just my son, as that does not happen otherwise.
I spent yesterday cleaning the living room thus throwing away two and a half bags of toys and miscellaneous junk. I am also able to get through the middle of the room without killing myself. I need to buy one more big bin for more toys that are stacked above the level of the existing bins --- with three kids that are of every age I have tons of toys for many ages.
One Down, One to Go
Now, to get son to go swimming again. I am going no matter what because I need the time away from the girls and that is my best way. I also really like the time I get to spend with just my son, as that does not happen otherwise.
I spent yesterday cleaning the living room thus throwing away two and a half bags of toys and miscellaneous junk. I am also able to get through the middle of the room without killing myself. I need to buy one more big bin for more toys that are stacked above the level of the existing bins --- with three kids that are of every age I have tons of toys for many ages.
Headaches? Migraines?
What is Causing Them, This Time?
Broken Glasses or Prescription Drug Interactions or Coffee?
I am really not sure which is causing the major headaches possibly migraines but they are killing me in many ways. If it is just my glasses then I hate to tinker with my Prozac and Trileptol combination and there is nothing I can really do for at least another fourteen or more days because it takes at least ten days before my glasses come in once I order them after my doctor’s appointment.
I will say that whatever is causing them is also causing the inability to really take care of my children the way I would like. The other night I had to put my youngest daughter to bed, early, while my husband took our son to his baseball game all the while the middle child was allowed to roam the house and do whatever.
Something has to be done, but what?
Broken Glasses or Prescription Drug Interactions or Coffee?
I am really not sure which is causing the major headaches possibly migraines but they are killing me in many ways. If it is just my glasses then I hate to tinker with my Prozac and Trileptol combination and there is nothing I can really do for at least another fourteen or more days because it takes at least ten days before my glasses come in once I order them after my doctor’s appointment.
I will say that whatever is causing them is also causing the inability to really take care of my children the way I would like. The other night I had to put my youngest daughter to bed, early, while my husband took our son to his baseball game all the while the middle child was allowed to roam the house and do whatever.
Something has to be done, but what?
5:30 A.M.
For Two Days Now
I am not sure how much longer I can take this any more – seeing that time in the morning is not good for my soul. Yesterday it was me or actually the freight train snorer next to me also known as my hubby. Today it was my middle daughter who decided that 5:30 A.M. was the perfect time to change a pull-up, yes she still wears them but we are working on that slowly, as well as painfully, and need a nightgown which could not be found because her two other nightgowns are dirty.
Anyway, I may write later but for now I have nothing else to say because even two and a half hours later I still am having a hard time thinking straight.
I am not sure how much longer I can take this any more – seeing that time in the morning is not good for my soul. Yesterday it was me or actually the freight train snorer next to me also known as my hubby. Today it was my middle daughter who decided that 5:30 A.M. was the perfect time to change a pull-up, yes she still wears them but we are working on that slowly, as well as painfully, and need a nightgown which could not be found because her two other nightgowns are dirty.
Anyway, I may write later but for now I have nothing else to say because even two and a half hours later I still am having a hard time thinking straight.
No Swimming Today, The Boy Says
Should I be happy or sad?
I really did want to go swimming today and am wondering if I should go anyway. I have not gone swimming since Tuesday and am feeling the need to go because my energy has no way of being released except through swimming and walking. The idea of me going alone seems awkward though because I see swimming as a joint thing because of the play factor.
I am frustrated at this and am not sure what to do at this point. My son has a game tonight so that means I will be alone with the girls during what I call the witching hours for my oldest daughter (middle child).
What to do? What to do?
I really did want to go swimming today and am wondering if I should go anyway. I have not gone swimming since Tuesday and am feeling the need to go because my energy has no way of being released except through swimming and walking. The idea of me going alone seems awkward though because I see swimming as a joint thing because of the play factor.
I am frustrated at this and am not sure what to do at this point. My son has a game tonight so that means I will be alone with the girls during what I call the witching hours for my oldest daughter (middle child).
What to do? What to do?
Really, Really...
Tired, that is all I can think about is how tired I am. It has been a very long last three hours. My middle daughter was under some kind of spell that really sent her into a tailspin. She threw a fit from the time her Daddy and brother left for his baseball game until about now.
Anyway, I am about to watch the NBA Finals with The Heat and The Mavericks. I would rather not watch it but I know my hubby will get mad if I do not allow him to watch it.
Anyway, I am about to watch the NBA Finals with The Heat and The Mavericks. I would rather not watch it but I know my hubby will get mad if I do not allow him to watch it.
Happy Father's Day
Yes, Happy Father’s Day, James! You have made it through eleven Father’s Day’s and lived to tell about it. So how does it feel?
I have to say that I have done a ton of sacrificing today. Even though my hubby, James, is a bookworm and computer geek he likes baseball and basketball and has thus been in heaven today. I sat here and watched the CSUF Titans win their game in the NCAA Div I Elimination Round. If you are not understanding how important know that it is both hubby and my’s alma mater where we were students when we first met.
As I am writing this we are now watching the Mavericks try and beat my hubby’s Heat. He is rooting for the Heat only because Shaquille O’Neal is on the team. I am sitting here praying that the Heat lose in the last minute of the game. Ten seconds left and 93 to 91 Maverick’s…93 tie…2 seconds left…overtime…The Mavericks are playing like children on the street – those dang kids…whew tied again at a little over two minutes left in overtime…Mavericks ahead by one at 36 seconds…Heat ahead…No Mavericks ahead 100 to 99 with 9 seconds remaining…
…Miami Heat Won Boo Hoo! (
Good Game and I hate basketball more than I hate baseball!
I have to say that I have done a ton of sacrificing today. Even though my hubby, James, is a bookworm and computer geek he likes baseball and basketball and has thus been in heaven today. I sat here and watched the CSUF Titans win their game in the NCAA Div I Elimination Round. If you are not understanding how important know that it is both hubby and my’s alma mater where we were students when we first met.
As I am writing this we are now watching the Mavericks try and beat my hubby’s Heat. He is rooting for the Heat only because Shaquille O’Neal is on the team. I am sitting here praying that the Heat lose in the last minute of the game. Ten seconds left and 93 to 91 Maverick’s…93 tie…2 seconds left…overtime…The Mavericks are playing like children on the street – those dang kids…whew tied again at a little over two minutes left in overtime…Mavericks ahead by one at 36 seconds…Heat ahead…No Mavericks ahead 100 to 99 with 9 seconds remaining…
…Miami Heat Won Boo Hoo! (
Good Game and I hate basketball more than I hate baseball!
Benjamin Kid Update
My son told me yesterday that I was bugging him while we were in the pool. You see he now has friends to play with while in the water so he no longer needs me when it comes to entertaining him. Believe it when I say that as a parent and a mommy trying to be an active part of my children’s lives that hurt a tad. I actually ended up getting out of the pool early because I got bored because there was nothing for me to do.
The good news on another of my kid’s front is that my middle child is doing well with the potty training thing. We are back on track and doing what we should be doing. She is also throwing fewer fits than she had been having, thankfully.
My youngest is just being her cute young self. She did get milk all over her crib and herself this morning as I think she was trying to get off the sippy cup cap.
The good news on another of my kid’s front is that my middle child is doing well with the potty training thing. We are back on track and doing what we should be doing. She is also throwing fewer fits than she had been having, thankfully.
My youngest is just being her cute young self. She did get milk all over her crib and herself this morning as I think she was trying to get off the sippy cup cap.
Prozac Update
Yup, I thought I should update you that I am feeling better than I have probably ever felt in my life. Prozac is not all that bad and in my case has really worked. I know at first I was scared but all my fears are now alleviated and I have moved forward,
No, I am not ready to say that I am all better because I know I am not and no I will not give up my most favorite job of stay at home mommy and poet, writer, and blogger. I am finally able to fully have fun with my kids doing things that they have fun doing as well. I swim three to four days a week and walk with the girls in their red wagon and the dog daily.
I am a proponent of using psychiatric prescription drugs with the help and supervision of a psychiatrist, and that does not mean a doctor hired by a psychological facility because they know not how to deal with people who have psychiatric disorders. I say this through my own experience when I went into a psychological facility and the doctor outright asked me if I wanted a gun after I came in while having a panic attack six years ago. I have also gone into two other doctor’s offices that allowed me to leave while having a panic attack.
The doctors (and even laypersons that mask themselves as social workers and counselors) that have not dealt in the area of mental health have very little idea what it is like to deal with those suffering from psychological disorders. I wish that states like Oklahoma would do something about the fact that they have doctors and even people who call themselves social workers, but have no degrees to show that they are and are not licensed by the proper agencies and/or associations. Oklahoma is wrong for doing this as there are people in the rural areas that may have no clue to even ask their doctor or counselor what their credentials thus they have no clue that these people may not know exactly what to say or that they maybe saying something that will lead the person down the wrong path. Lay people are great but should only work under and never counsel anyone on anything.
No, I am not ready to say that I am all better because I know I am not and no I will not give up my most favorite job of stay at home mommy and poet, writer, and blogger. I am finally able to fully have fun with my kids doing things that they have fun doing as well. I swim three to four days a week and walk with the girls in their red wagon and the dog daily.
I am a proponent of using psychiatric prescription drugs with the help and supervision of a psychiatrist, and that does not mean a doctor hired by a psychological facility because they know not how to deal with people who have psychiatric disorders. I say this through my own experience when I went into a psychological facility and the doctor outright asked me if I wanted a gun after I came in while having a panic attack six years ago. I have also gone into two other doctor’s offices that allowed me to leave while having a panic attack.
The doctors (and even laypersons that mask themselves as social workers and counselors) that have not dealt in the area of mental health have very little idea what it is like to deal with those suffering from psychological disorders. I wish that states like Oklahoma would do something about the fact that they have doctors and even people who call themselves social workers, but have no degrees to show that they are and are not licensed by the proper agencies and/or associations. Oklahoma is wrong for doing this as there are people in the rural areas that may have no clue to even ask their doctor or counselor what their credentials thus they have no clue that these people may not know exactly what to say or that they maybe saying something that will lead the person down the wrong path. Lay people are great but should only work under and never counsel anyone on anything.
My Day
I went on three walks today even though hubby was gone most of the day. It is amazing what a person can do even though she only has two or three hours to do it in. I went on one walk each with the girls, dog, and by myself. OK, so I only went around the block and that only takes fifteen minutes each time around that means three times around at almost a mile after you add in each time.
Everything is added onto the fact that I woke up at 5:45 am with my middle daughter who was upset over nothing and everything all at once. She is just so not wonderful when she wakes up in the so-called middle of the night, as she does not know to go to the bathroom and then go back to bed.
I just keep on praying that my youngest child keeps taking after her big brother and not her sister. I could be in real trouble if she decides to be more like her sister, instead.
Everything is added onto the fact that I woke up at 5:45 am with my middle daughter who was upset over nothing and everything all at once. She is just so not wonderful when she wakes up in the so-called middle of the night, as she does not know to go to the bathroom and then go back to bed.
I just keep on praying that my youngest child keeps taking after her big brother and not her sister. I could be in real trouble if she decides to be more like her sister, instead.
On My Mind
I understand that there is no way that many people can understand my fear towards talking to people and just walking up to someone and saying more than ‘Hi, how are you?’ I just can’t do that.
Thus there is no way that I am going to find myself as a self starter which you need to be if you are going to start something like an online business or the like. I have tried two already, MaryKay.com and LinenWorld.com, and neither has gone well at all. I just am not good at encouraging others to try something that would be against their initial will.
Anyway, that is what is on my mind right now after a conversation that ended poorly this morning with a best friend of mine. I love her to pieces but some things just irritate me after I have heard them way too many times over the last year. She is good at what she does I am just not made from the same mold and thus I am not cut out for what shw does for a living.
Thus there is no way that I am going to find myself as a self starter which you need to be if you are going to start something like an online business or the like. I have tried two already, MaryKay.com and LinenWorld.com, and neither has gone well at all. I just am not good at encouraging others to try something that would be against their initial will.
Anyway, that is what is on my mind right now after a conversation that ended poorly this morning with a best friend of mine. I love her to pieces but some things just irritate me after I have heard them way too many times over the last year. She is good at what she does I am just not made from the same mold and thus I am not cut out for what shw does for a living.
Not Again...
Yes, again!!!
I woke up from a nap and found my four year old in the bathroom and as she tried to hide what she was into the evidence was on her face. She got into at least one of my lip-liners because I found a mark on her face. I swear the joys of her are annoying the heck out of me. I wonder how the heck my mom ever put up with me for twenty-four years. My daughter will be out of my hair way before then, is all I will say.
I love her but the fact that our personalities are exactly the same makes living with her extremely hard. I have already told hubby that I will probably need to have her on some psych meds before or during her teenage years as I remember how painful my teenage years were.
The rest of the day and anything the other two kids did were lost to the fact that my whole concentration seems to be on the middle child and her shenanigans. In part that is why I go swimming with my son so many times per week. I need something to take me away from my constant focus on her. I will be so glad to send her to school next year even though it is only for about three hours a day.
It is fun to watch myself, so to speak, grow up again, although, it is mostly scary.
I woke up from a nap and found my four year old in the bathroom and as she tried to hide what she was into the evidence was on her face. She got into at least one of my lip-liners because I found a mark on her face. I swear the joys of her are annoying the heck out of me. I wonder how the heck my mom ever put up with me for twenty-four years. My daughter will be out of my hair way before then, is all I will say.
I love her but the fact that our personalities are exactly the same makes living with her extremely hard. I have already told hubby that I will probably need to have her on some psych meds before or during her teenage years as I remember how painful my teenage years were.
The rest of the day and anything the other two kids did were lost to the fact that my whole concentration seems to be on the middle child and her shenanigans. In part that is why I go swimming with my son so many times per week. I need something to take me away from my constant focus on her. I will be so glad to send her to school next year even though it is only for about three hours a day.
It is fun to watch myself, so to speak, grow up again, although, it is mostly scary.
Somewhat Mundane Sunday
Finally got to see The DaVinci Code. I must say that it was a good movie but the book was more suspenseful. The hype is more than the actually movie.
I got my two walks with the Poochie today. She really does very well on our walks especially when I remember not to bring my four year old or anyone else for that matter. Walking along with the swimming has really gotten myself into shape. I feel like a new woman in so many ways.
Anyways, I know I am boring myself while writing this so I must really be boring you my three or less faithful readers.
I got my two walks with the Poochie today. She really does very well on our walks especially when I remember not to bring my four year old or anyone else for that matter. Walking along with the swimming has really gotten myself into shape. I feel like a new woman in so many ways.
Anyways, I know I am boring myself while writing this so I must really be boring you my three or less faithful readers.
Dull Day
There again is not much to tell in the world of this marvelous mommy bloggists life. I did much of the same things I do on a regular summer Friday: swimming with the boy. The fun thing is I get to do this with two kids next year, possibly three depending how brave I feel next year.
Right now hubby and I are trying to watch and explain the movie, The Shining, to the boy. He is ten and is probably a tad to young to understand the psychological things that are going on in the movie. Every time Jack goes into his trances and starts seeing things and hallucinating people we are busy trying to go over how a certain person does not exist and how could a person hallucinate in the first place.
Right now hubby and I are trying to watch and explain the movie, The Shining, to the boy. He is ten and is probably a tad to young to understand the psychological things that are going on in the movie. Every time Jack goes into his trances and starts seeing things and hallucinating people we are busy trying to go over how a certain person does not exist and how could a person hallucinate in the first place.
Today
I am not sure how but I made it swimming today and had a great time. I love to take my son swimming because it means I get the exercise I so need. I feel so much better when I get my swim and two walks around the block in every day.
I just wish I were not sitting here listening while my hubby is watching the NBA finals. I find basketball rather boring luckily all I really watch is some playoff games and the finals; if I had to watch anymore I would probably be dead. I put him through a whole lot of shows and sports he would rather not see so I guess he would call this payback.
I just wish I were not sitting here listening while my hubby is watching the NBA finals. I find basketball rather boring luckily all I really watch is some playoff games and the finals; if I had to watch anymore I would probably be dead. I put him through a whole lot of shows and sports he would rather not see so I guess he would call this payback.
How Should I Interpret This?
Not Sure!
So how should I take two good days in a row? I am usually skeptical that my kids are planning something major when I go more than a day with them all three in a good mood and not wanting to kill each other. I don’t even think the girls screamed at each other.
The boy was even good to the sisters, which thrills me, and hope it continues. I love to see him try to get along and play with them, even if they are plotting to do something to me. I have to say though I am just as sadistic as my children, heck where do you think they get it.
Someday, just maybe, my three kids will be able to sit in the same room and talk to each other in a human sort of way. Right now that is just a dream but I hope it will be a reality that will come true in my lifetime. I had always hoped that would occur with my hubby and sisters and although it could have the mother seems to prevent that from hardly ever happening as she runs the family.
So how should I take two good days in a row? I am usually skeptical that my kids are planning something major when I go more than a day with them all three in a good mood and not wanting to kill each other. I don’t even think the girls screamed at each other.
The boy was even good to the sisters, which thrills me, and hope it continues. I love to see him try to get along and play with them, even if they are plotting to do something to me. I have to say though I am just as sadistic as my children, heck where do you think they get it.
Someday, just maybe, my three kids will be able to sit in the same room and talk to each other in a human sort of way. Right now that is just a dream but I hope it will be a reality that will come true in my lifetime. I had always hoped that would occur with my hubby and sisters and although it could have the mother seems to prevent that from hardly ever happening as she runs the family.
June 6th, 2006
Just Another Day
What can I say; my life has been the same as every other day. There were some different things happen around the house but nothing bad has happened. My three kids were good and actually until bedtime there was no real fights or disruptions in the house.
My middle daughter is still having problems with loose poop and such but I think and pray that she is getting better. I hate dealing with all the issues related to her being sick and such. I know that I would rather deal with stuffy noses and sore throats than poop troubles.
So, I guess the world is not going to end and life will continue to move forward, as always. The fact is that I do not care about superstitions and otherwise. They are just hypes to play on people that are scared of their own shadow. I am not that way I just hate people and should work around animals only.
What can I say; my life has been the same as every other day. There were some different things happen around the house but nothing bad has happened. My three kids were good and actually until bedtime there was no real fights or disruptions in the house.
My middle daughter is still having problems with loose poop and such but I think and pray that she is getting better. I hate dealing with all the issues related to her being sick and such. I know that I would rather deal with stuffy noses and sore throats than poop troubles.
So, I guess the world is not going to end and life will continue to move forward, as always. The fact is that I do not care about superstitions and otherwise. They are just hypes to play on people that are scared of their own shadow. I am not that way I just hate people and should work around animals only.
Over Yet?
The day That Is!
Today has been a long day. I did get some things done but there is never enough time and more likely, in my case, energy to do all that I should get done. I guess that is part of being a stay at home mommy.
I dealt mainly with my middle daughter again today as she must have some kind of flu bug or something, as she was runny in her stool yet again today. I am really getting sick of his and hope this too does pass rather soon.
Anyway I am headed to bed. Yes, I do try and write this before I go to bed at night so if you are trying to figure out when to read my blog and such read it after midnight or during the day.
Today has been a long day. I did get some things done but there is never enough time and more likely, in my case, energy to do all that I should get done. I guess that is part of being a stay at home mommy.
I dealt mainly with my middle daughter again today as she must have some kind of flu bug or something, as she was runny in her stool yet again today. I am really getting sick of his and hope this too does pass rather soon.
Anyway I am headed to bed. Yes, I do try and write this before I go to bed at night so if you are trying to figure out when to read my blog and such read it after midnight or during the day.
Took a Drive, Went Shopping
I took my son to Super Walmart today and got him some too big baseball pants that may fit him in three years. There was no size small in youth and thus we got the medium thus are huge on him. We also got a few other things but ended up spending under a hundred dollars on everything we bought. I was very proud of myself as it takes a lot of will power for me not to spend a big chunk of change on things for the kids and me.
We did get a roll of film developed from way back when my middle child was younger than my youngest is now. I really had to dig deep into my memory to figure out which toys I gave whom to solve the mystery of when the pictures were taking but eventually it came to me. It was crazy!
My question of the day is: Any ideas on how to potty train my stubborn four-year-old? I have a feeling that the fact that I used pull-ups training pants with her was the worst thing I ever did with her.
We did get a roll of film developed from way back when my middle child was younger than my youngest is now. I really had to dig deep into my memory to figure out which toys I gave whom to solve the mystery of when the pictures were taking but eventually it came to me. It was crazy!
My question of the day is: Any ideas on how to potty train my stubborn four-year-old? I have a feeling that the fact that I used pull-ups training pants with her was the worst thing I ever did with her.
Oops
I must have been extremely tired last night because I just realized that I forgot to write last night. I am sure that you can understand when I tell you that I went swimming again. Gee my life is boring as I do the same mundane things every day. I did not get the walk with the Poochie last night or yesterday morning as I simply ran out of energy. I was lucky enough that I walked the girls down the street in the wagon.
Another swimming day awaits me.
Another swimming day awaits me.
AnotherTiring Day
I am so sore from swimming with my son and he wants me to swim again tomorrow and I am sure he will want to swim for three hours. I know that tomorrow will be a hard days swim but I will do it because I really do love my son and don’t get to do enough with him because of my two younger girls.
I did get a little time today to recover but I still took my puppy for two walks, one being with the wagon and youngest, and another walk with both girls in the wagon.
Anyway until tomorrow that was my day and that will be my day until it is officially through.
I did get a little time today to recover but I still took my puppy for two walks, one being with the wagon and youngest, and another walk with both girls in the wagon.
Anyway until tomorrow that was my day and that will be my day until it is officially through.
Dixie Chicks are Awesome Chicks
I have always supported the fact that Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks and would have said the same thing if Pres George W. Bush had been from any great state that I have lived in. I personally hate the way the President has run our country since the September 11, 2001 events.
The Dixie Chicks are the best in all they do as well. I have always loved their music and especially like the most controversial ones, such as Earl’s Gotta Die. Everyone knows that the only reason they’re so controversial is that they are on the Liberal side of the political spectrum and are labeled Country Music Singers/Band. All know that Country Music Singers are Conservative Republicans, Yeah Right!
The Dixie Chicks are the best in all they do as well. I have always loved their music and especially like the most controversial ones, such as Earl’s Gotta Die. Everyone knows that the only reason they’re so controversial is that they are on the Liberal side of the political spectrum and are labeled Country Music Singers/Band. All know that Country Music Singers are Conservative Republicans, Yeah Right!
Swimming with the Son
I actually was able to do something with just my son and myself – we went to the pool at the University and had a great time without having the girls tagging along. I know that my son really enjoys doing things with just him and me or him and Dad. I hope that I can do a little more of this with just my son this summer but at this time I am not sure how because Dad starts teaching again on Thursday until mid July when we will go to California.
Anyway that was my day and this is my entry. I am extremely tired.
Anyway that was my day and this is my entry. I am extremely tired.
Sigh
I am so glad this day is almost over. It has been a very long day with the middle daughter and potty training – all I can say is it has turned into potty hell and is not getting any easier as the days go on.
She goes on the carpet more than the toilet in her ‘toilet room.’ I would be even happy if she would at least make it to the room itself and then pee on the floor in the there because it is not carpeted but then again that is no fun because the parents would be less likely to yell at her as they clean the mess that she has made.
She can be stubborn and will be until she learns that others will not put up with the fact that she pees her pants.
She goes on the carpet more than the toilet in her ‘toilet room.’ I would be even happy if she would at least make it to the room itself and then pee on the floor in the there because it is not carpeted but then again that is no fun because the parents would be less likely to yell at her as they clean the mess that she has made.
She can be stubborn and will be until she learns that others will not put up with the fact that she pees her pants.
Sigh, Big Brother 7 All-Star, Geesh!
From what I can tell there will be no new houseguests on Big Brother 7 as it will be an All-Star season. What a jip! I guess I will have to try and get my fears out of the way and try to get out my application next year.
I am so bummed at this time but then again I chickened out yet again and did not go through with getting my application out yet again. I only got half the application done this year.
I am so bummed at this time but then again I chickened out yet again and did not go through with getting my application out yet again. I only got half the application done this year.
Rambling Mind
It is amazing I have made it to see the next day and four-yr-old did not wake me up at five a.m. even after going to bed before seven p.m.
OK, so she did not wake up in the best of moods and it took Daddy and I about a half- hour to convince her to go potty because she is the most stubborn kid since me. Those who know me as the shy quiet depressed person would be amazed if they knew the true me that I will not show others whom I do not fully trust, or of course the doctors that want to create havoc and not trust me from the beginning.
I do have a personality that is harsh and not lovable at times and I simple have a hard time trusting many because I feel so misunderstood on much of what I say. I have also been called curt and abrasive, which has become a big joke around the house.
Anyway, this is what is going through my head at this time.
OK, so she did not wake up in the best of moods and it took Daddy and I about a half- hour to convince her to go potty because she is the most stubborn kid since me. Those who know me as the shy quiet depressed person would be amazed if they knew the true me that I will not show others whom I do not fully trust, or of course the doctors that want to create havoc and not trust me from the beginning.
I do have a personality that is harsh and not lovable at times and I simple have a hard time trusting many because I feel so misunderstood on much of what I say. I have also been called curt and abrasive, which has become a big joke around the house.
Anyway, this is what is going through my head at this time.
Prozac Distroys
Ptozac life seem is getting worse as the days and weeks go by. I have been on the dang med for about a month now and I just feel like I am back at the same stage I was when I was first placed on Paxil in 1999. I have thought about calling my psychiatrist to see about getting on the new bed of Ambien CR.
Yes this is the craziness of this mommy’s mind maze as my depression gets worse. I would suggest to other to never change what works no matter how screwed the insurance companies want to make things. Your health especially when young children are involved is more important than saving a little money.. This is something that I am never going to take advantage of again – it is like everything like my never going off Trileptal. These are my lifesavers and in most case my family lifesavers. .
I will try and talk to my psychiatrist tomorrow but even she may not talk to me, who knows – she usually has her receptionist call me which I would like to strangle because I do not feel comfortable talking to receptionists and staff members in doctors office, recently I have had nothing but hellish luck.
Yes this is the craziness of this mommy’s mind maze as my depression gets worse. I would suggest to other to never change what works no matter how screwed the insurance companies want to make things. Your health especially when young children are involved is more important than saving a little money.. This is something that I am never going to take advantage of again – it is like everything like my never going off Trileptal. These are my lifesavers and in most case my family lifesavers. .
I will try and talk to my psychiatrist tomorrow but even she may not talk to me, who knows – she usually has her receptionist call me which I would like to strangle because I do not feel comfortable talking to receptionists and staff members in doctors office, recently I have had nothing but hellish luck.
Time for Bed?
I am so ready for bed this evening. My middle child took all my energy away from me by throwing the most major fit she could – Well ok it could have been worse but she was bad.
I was actually very glad that Daddy was around and thus I could get away by simply using the excuse of needing to take ”Poochie” for a daily walk. I was not planning to go for the walk but damn I am glad I had the dog to take on the walk.
Now though I just want to head to my bed and read for an hour or so and then fall asleep. I will either do that or play Bookworm Deluxe here on the computer if Daddy does not come back home, soon. He does not have his radio show this evening which is a Godsend in case the middle child wakes up in the middle of the night.
I took two Klonny so I am not sure I will be awake enough to deal with anything in a bad mood as my daughter was in earlier.
I was actually very glad that Daddy was around and thus I could get away by simply using the excuse of needing to take ”Poochie” for a daily walk. I was not planning to go for the walk but damn I am glad I had the dog to take on the walk.
Now though I just want to head to my bed and read for an hour or so and then fall asleep. I will either do that or play Bookworm Deluxe here on the computer if Daddy does not come back home, soon. He does not have his radio show this evening which is a Godsend in case the middle child wakes up in the middle of the night.
I took two Klonny so I am not sure I will be awake enough to deal with anything in a bad mood as my daughter was in earlier.
Fear by Toad the Wet Sprocket
Listening to music I know that my hubby knows that means I am not in the best state of mind. This is what happens when I my meds have been changed and I do not feel that I am in the best place in life,. I cannot help it but please don’t send more to the hospital again. I am not sure I can face anymore doctors at this time and I really don’t want to face those that have made me in this state of mind in the first place.
I know that barely any of that makes since and why should it. I feel quite alone ion my head but the sad thing is I want to be left alone. I also know that being left alone may cause thoughts that should not be thought but are being thought.
I better stop writing because these circles in thoughts are causing more numbness than it is worth.
Life is f—ked and that is the only nice way to put it.
I know that barely any of that makes since and why should it. I feel quite alone ion my head but the sad thing is I want to be left alone. I also know that being left alone may cause thoughts that should not be thought but are being thought.
I better stop writing because these circles in thoughts are causing more numbness than it is worth.
Life is f—ked and that is the only nice way to put it.
Strong Willed Son Will Do Something
Having a strong willed son I have realized that to get him to do something to start it yourself. This latter part of the morning I went outside and started trimming my cedar tree and he came out wanting to help , of course it was because I was using trimmers an they were cool because he could cut a part of your body if you are not careful but I got him to help me.
The thing that made me the happiest was the fact that he did not ask me what type of reward he was getting in return. I decided after he got through most of the helping that he did earn the Harry Potter PS2 game he would like as well as the regular allowance for doing to the litter boxes and trash that he does on an almost daily basis. I do wish he would do the dog poop in the back yard but that is asking to much for a boy who is exactly like his dad and says it makes him pukish.
Hopefully my daughters will be better at picking up pukish dog poop and muck than my two med in my life are because geesh, I am beginning to wonderful if any of these kids are really mine. Hehe! (.
The thing that made me the happiest was the fact that he did not ask me what type of reward he was getting in return. I decided after he got through most of the helping that he did earn the Harry Potter PS2 game he would like as well as the regular allowance for doing to the litter boxes and trash that he does on an almost daily basis. I do wish he would do the dog poop in the back yard but that is asking to much for a boy who is exactly like his dad and says it makes him pukish.
Hopefully my daughters will be better at picking up pukish dog poop and muck than my two med in my life are because geesh, I am beginning to wonderful if any of these kids are really mine. Hehe! (.
MySpace.com and Kids
So here I sit thinking about how and what I have already told my ten-year-old son regarding myspace.com. I have not told him much except to stay away from that site and others because of the fact that too many predators that troll sites such as those. I have not told him about friendster.com or another one that I just heard of online on the Nightly News on ABCnews.com.
What scares me are the fact that my husband and myself are bloggers and thus I am always afraid that he will think it is ok if he opens his own and says whatever he wants. He did actually have one but it sort of fizzled because he forgot what his blog was and the password. I am just thankful and pray that he never remembers.
My husband may not be as scared as me but that is ok, as long as one of us always knows where he is online and where he is talking to others.
What scares me are the fact that my husband and myself are bloggers and thus I am always afraid that he will think it is ok if he opens his own and says whatever he wants. He did actually have one but it sort of fizzled because he forgot what his blog was and the password. I am just thankful and pray that he never remembers.
My husband may not be as scared as me but that is ok, as long as one of us always knows where he is online and where he is talking to others.
First Day of Summer Vacation
I am ready for August and it has only been one day out of school. What can I say, having my bored son home is not my favorite thing in life. He woke up asking for the computer and tv and not understanding why I say no. Well….:
It is my computer and this is my time on it. Find something else to do.
I need my time in the morning to do whatever it is I do on the computer. I may play games but it is my computer first and the family second. “Get over it!”
It is my computer and this is my time on it. Find something else to do.
I need my time in the morning to do whatever it is I do on the computer. I may play games but it is my computer first and the family second. “Get over it!”
Yes, Three!!
Yes, gosh darn it I have three children and yes one of them is already ten years old. I am older than I look but not that old. I am thirty-four almost thirty-five! The thing is I have always looked younger and that is something I am overly-blessed with and I am extremely grateful for because it makes me feel younger, at least when I am in a good mood.
The other thing I did not do that some of my counter-parts have done is have my first child later in life, after becoming successful. I will never be in a high paying job in the biggest firm in Los Angeles or New York. I just feel that I am on this earth to be who I am as an educator and advocate of those with physical and emotional disabilities. I am also here to raise my own children as well as I can and no better or worse.
Life is my own journey and I am not about to follow someone else’s journey just to get what they have, I do not want to be them but my own self, thank you.
The other thing I did not do that some of my counter-parts have done is have my first child later in life, after becoming successful. I will never be in a high paying job in the biggest firm in Los Angeles or New York. I just feel that I am on this earth to be who I am as an educator and advocate of those with physical and emotional disabilities. I am also here to raise my own children as well as I can and no better or worse.
Life is my own journey and I am not about to follow someone else’s journey just to get what they have, I do not want to be them but my own self, thank you.
My Wonderful Mug, Enjoy!
Newest picture of me taken by my wonderful husband whom I had to pressure into taking of me. No editting or airbrushing of picture done.
Today
Well I have done most of my usual boring motherly chores today. There is really nothing to say at the moment but I just thought I should put my thoughts on screen to remind myself that I still exist and that I can still write a complete sentence.
I have taken one of my two walks around the block – this one being with the girls. I also did my daily ‘hey neighbor’ which is also so very hard for me and I just want to scream inside because I am sick of caring about anyone but it is not part of my nature to be anti-social. The fact though is that I have become more and more anti-social as this year has progressed. I partially wish that I could leave all socialization to my hubby and go from there.
Life is too short to remain caring when I feel that everything I do could be done differently and thus nothing I do is the best way.
I have taken one of my two walks around the block – this one being with the girls. I also did my daily ‘hey neighbor’ which is also so very hard for me and I just want to scream inside because I am sick of caring about anyone but it is not part of my nature to be anti-social. The fact though is that I have become more and more anti-social as this year has progressed. I partially wish that I could leave all socialization to my hubby and go from there.
Life is too short to remain caring when I feel that everything I do could be done differently and thus nothing I do is the best way.
Enclose and Lock Bubble
If I did not have so many medical issues I would live in a bubble and the only people I would interact with were my family and those I know on the internet. I had always thought that I wanted to work amongst people in a helping role but even that is under serious debate because of the way people look at me and the way I am treated with suspicion when I tell them that I can do everything anyone else can do just a different way.
I would like to be like others but that just ain’t going to happen. I hate that I feel this way but I feel I have been burned way too many times and I am sick of trying to be nice to everyone just to have them not reciprocate the feelings back towards me.
So just lock me in my bubble and I will communicate to others through my tightly sealed bubble.
I would like to be like others but that just ain’t going to happen. I hate that I feel this way but I feel I have been burned way too many times and I am sick of trying to be nice to everyone just to have them not reciprocate the feelings back towards me.
So just lock me in my bubble and I will communicate to others through my tightly sealed bubble.
Anxiety Provocation
The fact is that my anxiety today has not gone away this entire day. I know that people think okay you just need to face your fears and get out and be amongst the very people that are causing the anxiety. The hardest thing is that I am screaming inside and my legs become jelly and if I am walking or must walk I feel like I am walking not only with my usual limp but also like I must go to the bathroom.
My only problem is the anxiety I suffer by trying to be nice and friendly to others as well as getting through the daily process of life. If I could I would stay in my house at all times and walk my dog in peace without interaction with others but rudeness is not me.
My only problem is the anxiety I suffer by trying to be nice and friendly to others as well as getting through the daily process of life. If I could I would stay in my house at all times and walk my dog in peace without interaction with others but rudeness is not me.
Dealing with Persons Like Me
There is something that I feel people do not understand about persons with anxiety and panic attacks – try not to blind-side us with information that will possible startle us. In my case if I am suddenly presented with any kind of sudden change I go into stunned mode and lose my ability to control my emotions.
Loss, in particular is very hard on my so please give me time. Do not; I repeat do not withhold things from me, like a move you are making, until the day before an event or leave. I have had doctors and others that do not tell me they are leaving and left me in the to search for alternatives at the last minute.
Any change is hard on most is hard but multiple that by one hundred percent and that is what it feels like for me. If you were to ask my husband he would tell you that any sudden change in anything takes me at least a day to process.
The only thing I can suggest of others dealing with people like me is to tell us ahead of time if you plan to do anything that may effect or affect the person involved. The sooner we know the better we will be able to process and get over the shock.
Loss, in particular is very hard on my so please give me time. Do not; I repeat do not withhold things from me, like a move you are making, until the day before an event or leave. I have had doctors and others that do not tell me they are leaving and left me in the to search for alternatives at the last minute.
Any change is hard on most is hard but multiple that by one hundred percent and that is what it feels like for me. If you were to ask my husband he would tell you that any sudden change in anything takes me at least a day to process.
The only thing I can suggest of others dealing with people like me is to tell us ahead of time if you plan to do anything that may effect or affect the person involved. The sooner we know the better we will be able to process and get over the shock.
Form Done!
I am so thankful that everything went okay today and I got my form filled out and will send it through the mail tomorrow. I will probably still have to do this same thing every year around finals week for my husband. I am just so grateful that he came with me and was there even though I knew I would not need him I was not willing to go through another anxiety attack like last week.
I was also validated by the doctor that I am not the only who finds the doctor I tried to go to has found him to be a jerk. I guess the doctor I tried to go to has quite a reputation in the city and elsewhere, depending on who he associates with. He has been known to be somewhat of a partier and that is a scary thought.
I am just glad the whole process is over and I don’t have to think about the physical for yet another year. I even told the doctor that I would see him in a year. The sad fact is the only time I ever see my primary care physician is for this physical. I go to my psychiatrist for my mental health and a gynecologist for my PAP Smear and other female issues.
I was also validated by the doctor that I am not the only who finds the doctor I tried to go to has found him to be a jerk. I guess the doctor I tried to go to has quite a reputation in the city and elsewhere, depending on who he associates with. He has been known to be somewhat of a partier and that is a scary thought.
I am just glad the whole process is over and I don’t have to think about the physical for yet another year. I even told the doctor that I would see him in a year. The sad fact is the only time I ever see my primary care physician is for this physical. I go to my psychiatrist for my mental health and a gynecologist for my PAP Smear and other female issues.
All I can think of...
...is sleep. I am not sure why I am so tired but I am and that is not right but it is a fact that seems to be a reality these days.
I have done a lot more during the day that I did not before so I think that is partially why. I walked the block three times today and seem to find spurts of energy that I am trying to use when I get it knowing that that little energy will be gone before I can use it if not used right away.
--
I have to say that I am scared about my doctors appointment tomorrow afternoon because of all my doctors unwillngness to do something nice for me. I know now that I should never have told the public safety people that I have a seizure disorder but I guess it is a habit as I have cerebral palsy and because of that I have seizures if my meds are not taken or at least that is how it was in the past. I do refuse to fully go off my meds not wanting to find out if I outgrew the seizures just to have another and put myself or kids in jeopardy either at home or elsewhere. I do know that they are fully under control with proper sleep/rest and the Trileptal -- why jeopardize my health and well-being?
I have done a lot more during the day that I did not before so I think that is partially why. I walked the block three times today and seem to find spurts of energy that I am trying to use when I get it knowing that that little energy will be gone before I can use it if not used right away.
--
I have to say that I am scared about my doctors appointment tomorrow afternoon because of all my doctors unwillngness to do something nice for me. I know now that I should never have told the public safety people that I have a seizure disorder but I guess it is a habit as I have cerebral palsy and because of that I have seizures if my meds are not taken or at least that is how it was in the past. I do refuse to fully go off my meds not wanting to find out if I outgrew the seizures just to have another and put myself or kids in jeopardy either at home or elsewhere. I do know that they are fully under control with proper sleep/rest and the Trileptal -- why jeopardize my health and well-being?
Sammy maybe trying to come back
I believe I saw my cat next door staring at our house and me as I was staring back at him but when I tried to go towards him he ran in the bushes. Just maybe if we ignore him he will come back to at least visit us and thus we will know that he still exists. Until then I will need to work on my patience.
Anyways, it is not even ten p.m. and my chores are all done and I could go to bed at any time because there is nothing I need to do. I hate when I get things all done early because boredom is not a good feeling at least not for me.
When I get bored I start thinking bad thoughts and that is dangerous. I feel that I am going downward but I am not sure how to tell my hubby or if I should knowing that he is already down himself. I just feel slightly numb but for now I need to take a deep breath and get through this week.
Anyways, it is not even ten p.m. and my chores are all done and I could go to bed at any time because there is nothing I need to do. I hate when I get things all done early because boredom is not a good feeling at least not for me.
When I get bored I start thinking bad thoughts and that is dangerous. I feel that I am going downward but I am not sure how to tell my hubby or if I should knowing that he is already down himself. I just feel slightly numb but for now I need to take a deep breath and get through this week.
Stayed Home
Thus I did very little and spent no money. I kept trying to finagle my way out but my hubby was not going to allow me to leave the house knowing that if I went shopping which I wanted to do would mean that I would have spent another three hundred dollars.
Gee I wonder why he would not allow me out of the house, hehe! What can I say I was bored and when I get this bored I want to shop and spend money.
Gee I wonder why he would not allow me out of the house, hehe! What can I say I was bored and when I get this bored I want to shop and spend money.
Happy Mother's Day
Well I was going to show you the flowers that my men in my life gave me for Mother's Day but you will probably need to wait until tomorrow to see them because my machine is too slow that I cannot get the image to upload.
I am soi grateful for my two men and the two daughters as well. I am not sure what I would do without them in my life.
I am kind of suprised that I got these flowers because he usually does not give me things that will wilt and die but they smell so wonderful and my cats just love the vegetation we give them with the bringing in of greenery.
Anyway, it has been a very long day and all I want to do is crash in bed and wake up when the official start of Mother's Day is upon me.
I am soi grateful for my two men and the two daughters as well. I am not sure what I would do without them in my life.
I am kind of suprised that I got these flowers because he usually does not give me things that will wilt and die but they smell so wonderful and my cats just love the vegetation we give them with the bringing in of greenery.
Anyway, it has been a very long day and all I want to do is crash in bed and wake up when the official start of Mother's Day is upon me.
Still worn away
The last three or so days have worn me rather thin physically and mentally. I have no trust in any medical professional that exists. The fact that I feel this was is rather ironic coming from a person that did her social work master's internship at a hospital. Ever since that experience I have had nothing but one setback after another in regards to the doctors and their medical office staff.
The fact that I live in a rural location and doctors are scarce and the doctors that stick around know nothing about any medical condition that has something more than a common cold or allergy does not do me a lick of good. If I ever have a choice again I would never ever live this rural again and I will NEVER retire in a place as isolated as the Great Plains and or any other farming communities such as this because I really do fear for my health as well as safety as I age. Yes, I do know that I am only in my early to mid thirties but I feel I need to watch out for my latters years so I do not get stuck in such an environment, from hell, later.
Sigh....I wish I could stop thinking about my medical struggles long enough to breathe normally, again. Maybe someday this intene anxiety and depression will subside....But not today.
The fact that I live in a rural location and doctors are scarce and the doctors that stick around know nothing about any medical condition that has something more than a common cold or allergy does not do me a lick of good. If I ever have a choice again I would never ever live this rural again and I will NEVER retire in a place as isolated as the Great Plains and or any other farming communities such as this because I really do fear for my health as well as safety as I age. Yes, I do know that I am only in my early to mid thirties but I feel I need to watch out for my latters years so I do not get stuck in such an environment, from hell, later.
Sigh....I wish I could stop thinking about my medical struggles long enough to breathe normally, again. Maybe someday this intene anxiety and depression will subside....But not today.
The Saga Continues
The psychiatrist who has been seeing me and giving me my meds will not make a statement to the public safety bureau because she only deals with my mental illness, supposedly...but she refills my script. So I called the clinic where my last doctor ran to after the fiascos over at the hospital in the county I live in.
I will again update you in a week on the hopeful conclusion of the state stupidity. I have to say that I would rather be an illegal immigrant because even they get treated better than I feel I have in the last six years.
Moving out of state may be the best thing I could do at this time.
I will again update you in a week on the hopeful conclusion of the state stupidity. I have to say that I would rather be an illegal immigrant because even they get treated better than I feel I have in the last six years.
Moving out of state may be the best thing I could do at this time.
What happened to patient/doctor trust
It simply does not exist in the day and age we live in. I had my doctyors appointment set for my physical and I was downright turned away because I did not bring documentation from other doctors or at least my last doctor who no longer practices in the same city.
The doctor told me outright that he could not trust that my last seizure was eight years ago because I could be lying to him because he does not know me from Jane Doe. Well okay he does not know me but he could have asked his own reception and nursing staff to do the leg work of getting my records from the previous doctor for me especially noticing that I am very upset that nothing is going as planned. The saddest irony of this whole thing is that they could have told me upon making the appointment yesterday that I should go get my records from previous doctor before appointment -- it was not like I did not tell them I needed the appointment to have a physical for a driver's license renewal thing.
If moving out of Oklahoma were an option I certainly would just to get a drver's license in Texas or anywhere in the high plains but Oklahoma. If you are ever thinking of moving to any state do not mention that you have a seizure disorder unless it is not under complete control or it is classified as epileptic in nature do not tell the license bureau of your condition because they will chain you to them the rest of your entire life.
Anyway enough ranting for the time being thank you for reading this it was a very difficult day and I am so sick of doctors not trusting their own patients. Something needs to change, NOW!
The doctor told me outright that he could not trust that my last seizure was eight years ago because I could be lying to him because he does not know me from Jane Doe. Well okay he does not know me but he could have asked his own reception and nursing staff to do the leg work of getting my records from the previous doctor for me especially noticing that I am very upset that nothing is going as planned. The saddest irony of this whole thing is that they could have told me upon making the appointment yesterday that I should go get my records from previous doctor before appointment -- it was not like I did not tell them I needed the appointment to have a physical for a driver's license renewal thing.
If moving out of Oklahoma were an option I certainly would just to get a drver's license in Texas or anywhere in the high plains but Oklahoma. If you are ever thinking of moving to any state do not mention that you have a seizure disorder unless it is not under complete control or it is classified as epileptic in nature do not tell the license bureau of your condition because they will chain you to them the rest of your entire life.
Anyway enough ranting for the time being thank you for reading this it was a very difficult day and I am so sick of doctors not trusting their own patients. Something needs to change, NOW!
I feel sick
Oh this is nothing new just something that happens every night after taking my Trileptal to keep me from having a seizure. I am not sure why this occurs to me every night around the same time. The strange thing is that I take the same dose in the morning and this does not happen. I even take it with the same coffee at the same time at night so what the heck is the difference and why does it make me nauseous every single night.
I do not want to chjange my meds and monkey with anything because of the fact that my state of good ole Oklahoma already makes me take a physical every year because I have a seizure disorder dispite the fact that I have not had a seizure in eight years. I have a fear that my driver's license would be yanked if I had just one slight seizure and they were to find out. My seizures are not epileptic in nature and thus I know they are controllable by meds and sleep.
The seizure I had eight years ago was caused by the fact that I was taking a day and a half long class and got very little sleep the days before thus it was causewd by lack of taking care of self. I was in graduate school and the Social Work program owned a lot of me. My life is completely different now and I can take better care of myself now. I do this so as not to have seizures and I have not had any problems since 1998.
I do not want to chjange my meds and monkey with anything because of the fact that my state of good ole Oklahoma already makes me take a physical every year because I have a seizure disorder dispite the fact that I have not had a seizure in eight years. I have a fear that my driver's license would be yanked if I had just one slight seizure and they were to find out. My seizures are not epileptic in nature and thus I know they are controllable by meds and sleep.
The seizure I had eight years ago was caused by the fact that I was taking a day and a half long class and got very little sleep the days before thus it was causewd by lack of taking care of self. I was in graduate school and the Social Work program owned a lot of me. My life is completely different now and I can take better care of myself now. I do this so as not to have seizures and I have not had any problems since 1998.
Baseball season started
Yippy! I know that is what is supposed to come out of my mouth but frankly the schedule makes me frustrated because of the fact that I not only have a son to cart around. I also have two other girls that need dinner and such at the times that practice occurs.
I am also scared that my girls are going to miss their Daddy while he spends the hours on end with the son and very little awake time with the girls. You see the evenings were the times that the girls had a chance to be with him and now that being taken away from them three days a week may become hard on them.
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I will take a breath now and see what happens because I know that getting through to any man is too difficult at any time, especially at the time the a problem ins first suspected. I just feel like screaming:
"Are you listening to me?"
I am also scared that my girls are going to miss their Daddy while he spends the hours on end with the son and very little awake time with the girls. You see the evenings were the times that the girls had a chance to be with him and now that being taken away from them three days a week may become hard on them.
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I will take a breath now and see what happens because I know that getting through to any man is too difficult at any time, especially at the time the a problem ins first suspected. I just feel like screaming:
"Are you listening to me?"
I did to have a right to be frustrated
I did have a right to get angry, upset and frustrated over not finding my wedding ring on the computer desk where I thought I had left it. After clearing my desk top of everything and looking all around the clutter around the desk I found my ring in the trash that I had to get from the dumpster down the street.
I at one time got frustrated and a tad angry at hubby because he sounded not so carrying and unwilling to come home to help me out. I then got upset at him because he had a hard time understanding that I wanted to be exactly sure which of the four or five dumpsters that he put the trash in so that I could get the correct bag out rather fast.
Well, the ring was amonst coffee grounds and right where I figured it must be if it was not on my computer desk.
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The whole thing started about a week ago when a sore was caused by the ring that must have been pressed against the skin on the ring finger way too long the night before. The sore that followed became infected and swollen so I had to take the ring off so that I could heal the finger without pressure from the ring that had become too tight around the finger.
I at one time got frustrated and a tad angry at hubby because he sounded not so carrying and unwilling to come home to help me out. I then got upset at him because he had a hard time understanding that I wanted to be exactly sure which of the four or five dumpsters that he put the trash in so that I could get the correct bag out rather fast.
Well, the ring was amonst coffee grounds and right where I figured it must be if it was not on my computer desk.
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The whole thing started about a week ago when a sore was caused by the ring that must have been pressed against the skin on the ring finger way too long the night before. The sore that followed became infected and swollen so I had to take the ring off so that I could heal the finger without pressure from the ring that had become too tight around the finger.
Have nothing to say...
but I will say it anyway. I had a good day but I did nothing of substance. Being a mother is as mundane as days like today when all the kids behave like angels rather than the pet devils their dad calls them most days.
Time to think about bed, I guess, which means I will be up again at 6:15 a.m. because when I go to bed before two that is usually what happens.
Time to think about bed, I guess, which means I will be up again at 6:15 a.m. because when I go to bed before two that is usually what happens.
Bring our cat back!!
I am really sad everytime that my kids or I are reminded that our cat is gone and that someone else probably has him. I hear the joy with sadness in my four year olds voice when she sees a pic of Sammy and says his name. It is not fair and I really do want him back.
The thing is the cat used to be a nap partner and a cuddle buddy on cold days like today. I would sometimes place him directly on my feet just so that my feety would warm up. unfortunately that is no more and there is very little I can do but I simply miss him.
Sammy, Come Home!
It's Gotta Stop
Not all people need to lose weight and there are some like me that are a tad under-weight even after having three kids and extra skin here and there with stretch marks to prove my body has gone through several changes in the abdomenal region.
I thus believe that the commecials, ads, and articles that deal with losing weight need to stop. I understand that there are people who have extreme trouble with their weight and such and I do hope that they can get the help they need. My worry is that this kind of advertising will keep getting worse and diets and diet pills will be even more a way of life than it already is and our sons and daughters will be raising our grandchildren on diet pills as an everyday thing, like a daily vitamin.
Seeing anorexic children scares me but knowing that what we allow our own children to watch today will scares me more.
Being a healthy skinny woman seems to be the wrong thing to be and I should be on diet pills or get liposuction here and there: and a breastlift is a must after my third child was born. Sorry, but no, I like who I asm and will not go on any diet I may watch what I eat and sometimes deny myself a meal here and there but I will never go on a true diet.
I thus believe that the commecials, ads, and articles that deal with losing weight need to stop. I understand that there are people who have extreme trouble with their weight and such and I do hope that they can get the help they need. My worry is that this kind of advertising will keep getting worse and diets and diet pills will be even more a way of life than it already is and our sons and daughters will be raising our grandchildren on diet pills as an everyday thing, like a daily vitamin.
Seeing anorexic children scares me but knowing that what we allow our own children to watch today will scares me more.
Being a healthy skinny woman seems to be the wrong thing to be and I should be on diet pills or get liposuction here and there: and a breastlift is a must after my third child was born. Sorry, but no, I like who I asm and will not go on any diet I may watch what I eat and sometimes deny myself a meal here and there but I will never go on a true diet.
Still trying to recover
Because of yesterdays big cleaning of my garage I am still trying to recover physically from the lifting and whatnot of the garabage and junk from the garage to the dumpster. This may seem meaningless to you but if you have ever seen my garage you would understand. Also remember that my husband and I are packrats and do not know when things should be thrown away or even what to throw away.
I would like to say that I am a recovering packrat but I truly don't think that is possible. All I know is I am getting sick of being this way and am trying my own form of therapy by throwing out boxes of old papers and whatnot that will never be looked at by myself or my husband ever again.
So forward I try and move!
I would like to say that I am a recovering packrat but I truly don't think that is possible. All I know is I am getting sick of being this way and am trying my own form of therapy by throwing out boxes of old papers and whatnot that will never be looked at by myself or my husband ever again.
So forward I try and move!
My Writing
Again I feel my writing is suffering although I am not surprised I am rather frustrated as I would love to have more quiet time that I could spend editing and creating more work and future books. I have two books that just need to be editted and then sent off to publishers or somewhere so that I can get my name out beyond the focus of the internet. The internet is worldwide but for some reason until it is in black and white in somesort of paper format and paid for by others I do not feel as though I am a true author.
Uneventful
Unlike what is happening around the country today my life is uneventful today. For some reason my kids are all being rather good and not creating mych of a fuss. The thing that scares me is the fact that the witching hour of six p.m. has not hit yet and that is when my house gets turned upside down and shaked violently. It is usually about this time every night I sit on pins and needles in anticipation of what is to occur all too soon.
I am glad my household residents are predictable I just wish that the witching hour did not cause so much stress around the home.
I am glad my household residents are predictable I just wish that the witching hour did not cause so much stress around the home.
Better
After sleep off and on all weekend I am feeling a whole lot better. I just needed to get some time alone. Of course I did lock the bedroom door but if you are a mommy yourself you will know that even that is not a way to keep from being bugged. The half bathroom in the bedroom means that they family needs in the room and will go to all measures to try and get in the room. Thus several times as I was trying to rest I had hubby and older daughter trying to figure out how to get into the locked bedroom.
I guess for the rest of the month I should throw up my arms and say that napping like I have been doing is for the birds.
I guess for the rest of the month I should throw up my arms and say that napping like I have been doing is for the birds.
Bad Day
I really hate the thoughts that are running through my head at the moment especially when I know that there is little to nothing to do because I know that it maybe the fact that I am changing my anti-depressants from Effexor XR to Prozac. I know that there may be a time in which nothing seems to work but that that feeling may to go away.
The hardest thing about the time betwwen the old med being weaned off of and the new one actually kicking in is that there is the few weeks that I am in limbo asking myself is this the med or is this the transition period? Should I be alarmed? Should I call my psychiatrist? Is this going to just go away and thus feel happy again?
So many questions with maybe answers that drive me even more crazed than I already am in life today.
Sigh...(screaming inside...while running for the Klonopin)!
The hardest thing about the time betwwen the old med being weaned off of and the new one actually kicking in is that there is the few weeks that I am in limbo asking myself is this the med or is this the transition period? Should I be alarmed? Should I call my psychiatrist? Is this going to just go away and thus feel happy again?
So many questions with maybe answers that drive me even more crazed than I already am in life today.
Sigh...(screaming inside...while running for the Klonopin)!
Not a great day
But I will get through it as I always seem to even though it is going to be hard. The thing is I become very jealous of my hubby when he gets to sleep in on the mornings he does not have work yet I am expected to take care of the kids in the morning no matter what day it is. I just want a few days off a month where someone will take care of the girls, especially so that I can sleep in and have nothing to worry about.
These are the days I do not believe that the working father understands that especially the stay at home mommy needs time to sleep in as well. I would love to sleep late in the AM and have nothing that I must wake up for until I feel that I have definitely gotten enough sleep.
Oh well, enough of this crap I must get back to real life and a nap because Babes is asleep.
These are the days I do not believe that the working father understands that especially the stay at home mommy needs time to sleep in as well. I would love to sleep late in the AM and have nothing that I must wake up for until I feel that I have definitely gotten enough sleep.
Oh well, enough of this crap I must get back to real life and a nap because Babes is asleep.
Ode to the Snoring Man and the Cat Barfing
That is exactly how I was awoken at four A.M. Unfortunately, the new bed did not take away the snoring man I just think it made him worse. Normally when I have a chance to fall asleep before my husband get's to bed I am fine and his snoring nature does not wake me up but lately it seems that his snoring has become my wake up call.
The added cat barfing up furball is another story. The thing is we have one cat that has enough hair for three cats thus she is always coughing up dang furballs the size of a rat. They are actually very interesting to look at but then again I am crazy. I do feel sorry for the cat and try and pull hair from her mouth if I see some dangling which she has just pulled, or licked out. Then, I know I am not too inhumane the thing is I am not sure I know what to do from here. I know I am not going to try and feed my five cats in seperate bowls and thus being able to give her the furball formula of food -- that just ain't happening with five cats, two dogs, three kids, and a husband. It is bad enough that I already have to feed the dogs in their crates every evening so that the over-weight Henry does not eat more than his share of food.
Anyway, just a little anecdote regarding the craziness of the Benjamin household. I can usually scare people from ever staying at my house too long with all the kids, cats, and dogs. People think we are crazy, and yes that we are most definitely.
The added cat barfing up furball is another story. The thing is we have one cat that has enough hair for three cats thus she is always coughing up dang furballs the size of a rat. They are actually very interesting to look at but then again I am crazy. I do feel sorry for the cat and try and pull hair from her mouth if I see some dangling which she has just pulled, or licked out. Then, I know I am not too inhumane the thing is I am not sure I know what to do from here. I know I am not going to try and feed my five cats in seperate bowls and thus being able to give her the furball formula of food -- that just ain't happening with five cats, two dogs, three kids, and a husband. It is bad enough that I already have to feed the dogs in their crates every evening so that the over-weight Henry does not eat more than his share of food.
Anyway, just a little anecdote regarding the craziness of the Benjamin household. I can usually scare people from ever staying at my house too long with all the kids, cats, and dogs. People think we are crazy, and yes that we are most definitely.
Let it be known
I am very unhappy with what ER has done by suddenly curing or at least enabling Dr Weaver to walk unaided by her cane. She has had it for many years and in most cases there would be no way that she could get up and walk without her cane with just a few months therapy. Therapy would need to be done right when the disability first occured to be thoroughly efeective.
I have cerebral palsy and have done lots of research on that as well as have experience with people who have many other types of disabilities. Polio, which I think is what she has cannot be cured unless done so in the first few months and even that was rare. I hate the fact that in television shows they believe that someone's life-long disability can be cured the way Dr. Weaver's was on the show.
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My other beef about ER lately is their African Nations emphasis. I started watching ER because of the hospital setting not because of the humanitarian nature. I do not believe that the forum is the right place to bring up the sufferings of other countries. In no way am I saying that I do not care about the sufferings of those in Africa but God I am watching ER not a show on The National Geographic channel.
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Just my opinion while watching ER this evening.
I have cerebral palsy and have done lots of research on that as well as have experience with people who have many other types of disabilities. Polio, which I think is what she has cannot be cured unless done so in the first few months and even that was rare. I hate the fact that in television shows they believe that someone's life-long disability can be cured the way Dr. Weaver's was on the show.
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My other beef about ER lately is their African Nations emphasis. I started watching ER because of the hospital setting not because of the humanitarian nature. I do not believe that the forum is the right place to bring up the sufferings of other countries. In no way am I saying that I do not care about the sufferings of those in Africa but God I am watching ER not a show on The National Geographic channel.
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Just my opinion while watching ER this evening.
Ok, so now you know that i look like...
A Happy Stay at Home Mommy! I can tell you that I am no average Mommy who loves baking, cleaning and any type opf hotsework though. I think baking and cleaning is for the birds and should not be interfer the things that I truly love which is the computer, crochetting, crafts, reading, and especially writing. I am one who will not spend money on clothes for me but on yarn, needles and other items to finish a blanket or scarf. Why should I spend money on clothes when I rarely go outside the safety of my own house and yard.
I do try and get some clothes once a year but that is about it as I do not want to take too much money away from the kid's clothing and other needs such as food and shelter and some new toys, although they do not need anything that is for sure. We have enough toys to last them another ten or so years or maybe until they grow up. The grandparents have made sure that they get whatever they want for Christmas and birthdays. The fact is that my hubby and I have rarely give much for any holiday because of the grandparents whom we appreciate very much and without them know that our children would get little to nothing.
I do try and get some clothes once a year but that is about it as I do not want to take too much money away from the kid's clothing and other needs such as food and shelter and some new toys, although they do not need anything that is for sure. We have enough toys to last them another ten or so years or maybe until they grow up. The grandparents have made sure that they get whatever they want for Christmas and birthdays. The fact is that my hubby and I have rarely give much for any holiday because of the grandparents whom we appreciate very much and without them know that our children would get little to nothing.
Today was bizzare
My hubby got up at four a.m. to take someone to the airport, yes the same person he picked up the day before. I am surprised that I could get him out of bed when I did because four in the morning is about an hour after his regular bedtime. I also barely heard the alarm over the window air conditioner my husband had on low power instead of power saver which I normally have it turned to so that it will turn off frequently -- instead of humming all night long.
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Someone please enlighten me why the hell do people like my Hubsband watch Boston Legal and the dumbest characters in the world: Denny Crane and Alan Shore? He is a faithful weekly watcher along with Star Jones-Reynolds.
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Sigh!
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Someone please enlighten me why the hell do people like my Hubsband watch Boston Legal and the dumbest characters in the world: Denny Crane and Alan Shore? He is a faithful weekly watcher along with Star Jones-Reynolds.
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Sigh!
Mostly Done
The changes to the page are mostly although I know I will never be fully satisfied as there seems to be things that I simply will never get exactly the way I want them. I still have things that there will be more kinks that I will make through time but for now I think I am going to focus mainly on the posts and forget about the graphics , brackgrounds and fonts.
I am a writer and thus I need to remember to keep my focus on getting my message out rather than constantly worrying about other stuff. I love web design but not when I become too obsessed with the nit-picky stuff. I guess that is why I love Writing.com so much as there is no need to worry about design crap; that is the staffs job and they do a brillant job.
I am a writer and thus I need to remember to keep my focus on getting my message out rather than constantly worrying about other stuff. I love web design but not when I become too obsessed with the nit-picky stuff. I guess that is why I love Writing.com so much as there is no need to worry about design crap; that is the staffs job and they do a brillant job.
She took her first steps
My little one year old Babes took her first step tonight! I knew there was a reason why she was in such a good mood during the latter part of her evening. I actually let her stay up past her bed time because she was not acting tired. I did catch some steps on the digital camera as a video which was really nice.
Anyway that is really all I have to say this evening as I am getting pretty tired as I dealt with the three kids, by myself, this evening. Hubby had to go pick up someone from the airport and thus he was not around.
Anyway that is really all I have to say this evening as I am getting pretty tired as I dealt with the three kids, by myself, this evening. Hubby had to go pick up someone from the airport and thus he was not around.
ugh....
I have been working all day on this site and have only made a couple changes. I want this page to be my own not something someone else has first designed. I hate being a copy-cat and thus I want to take some of what I had previously and add some of my very own ideas.
I think I am going to have to put this aside before I throw the monitor out the door because I am ready to puke at the screen. When things don't go the way I want them I get angry and need to walk away.
The next thing I need to work on is the text colors. I need to incorporate my purple text colors and thus making it better fit with my personality and favorite colors etc.
Goodbye for now
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By the way: The hubby did his chore hehe.
I think I am going to have to put this aside before I throw the monitor out the door because I am ready to puke at the screen. When things don't go the way I want them I get angry and need to walk away.
The next thing I need to work on is the text colors. I need to incorporate my purple text colors and thus making it better fit with my personality and favorite colors etc.
Goodbye for now
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By the way: The hubby did his chore hehe.
When Asking a Man to Do Something
Always give him three days or start it yourself -- as a wife to a couch and bed potato, with a book, I have learned my lesson well never expect anything to get done on the day you ask him to do the certain thing you would like done around the house. If it ain't work related you can bet it will not get done.
The best thing I can do though is to start the activity and thus get sympathy and maybe just maybe get his sorry ass up out of his chair or bed to put together or do the activity that I am fumbling with at the time. Today, I asked him to unscrew and throw-away a padding that is falling off the bottom of the garage door because if I cannot close it all the way there is a slim possiblity that I will not be able to keep one cat from trapping herself in the attic which means that he will have to possibly get clawed to death by that same cat again while getting that very cat out of the attic. So hubby if you are reading this think about that aspect -- it is all up to you my Dear.
I will go ahead and get the trash that the dogs have rummaged through if he gets the the pad but I do need to have that done. 'Remember if you (he) don't do it you run the risk of me yelling and screaming in anger over the fact that you THINK that I can do things that I know I cannot do but get sick of waiting on you to do that very thing I want done.' Also remember Dear that I want the things done the first time I ask them to be done not later but NOW. I feel hurt when you leave them undone because I feel you are not listening... So, dang it, LISTEN NOW!
The best thing I can do though is to start the activity and thus get sympathy and maybe just maybe get his sorry ass up out of his chair or bed to put together or do the activity that I am fumbling with at the time. Today, I asked him to unscrew and throw-away a padding that is falling off the bottom of the garage door because if I cannot close it all the way there is a slim possiblity that I will not be able to keep one cat from trapping herself in the attic which means that he will have to possibly get clawed to death by that same cat again while getting that very cat out of the attic. So hubby if you are reading this think about that aspect -- it is all up to you my Dear.
I will go ahead and get the trash that the dogs have rummaged through if he gets the the pad but I do need to have that done. 'Remember if you (he) don't do it you run the risk of me yelling and screaming in anger over the fact that you THINK that I can do things that I know I cannot do but get sick of waiting on you to do that very thing I want done.' Also remember Dear that I want the things done the first time I ask them to be done not later but NOW. I feel hurt when you leave them undone because I feel you are not listening... So, dang it, LISTEN NOW!
Sigh..I Am Kinda Scared
I am somewhat frightened over the fact that I am going to be changing to an SSRI anti-depressant because of my past history with Paxil. The main fear is my suicidal thoughts coming back and the fact that I was cutting myself in order to feel something other than numb in the few weeks of Paxil and the early days of taking Effexor XR when my med levels were low.
I will say one thing: The cost is wonderful. I spent less than eight dollars for thirty pills (a month's worth) of Fluoxetine/Prozac. I can certainly handle that and feel well not taking every hard earned penny my husband makes at this crazy university were the pay is low because Oklahoma has no money and they do not seem to care about their small universities.
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My youngest turned one today not that she really understands what went on. She seemed rather tired at dinner time all the way through cake and opening of gifts.
I am throwing away things that I know I will never need again. I threw away two more bottles today. I still have many bottles to throw away as I am afraid that my daughter will want change back but I am hoping that never happens. I will not throw away what is left of the formula until the one can is gone she will be on it and as soon as Monday she will be on half milk/half formula bottles. This reminds me I need to get hubby to pick up a new box of Cherrios for her so that she can get more inside her tummy during the day.
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Enough for this evening I need to call hubby he just finished his weekly radio show of whatever type of Jazz he listens to, personally I think of it as loud noise.
I will say one thing: The cost is wonderful. I spent less than eight dollars for thirty pills (a month's worth) of Fluoxetine/Prozac. I can certainly handle that and feel well not taking every hard earned penny my husband makes at this crazy university were the pay is low because Oklahoma has no money and they do not seem to care about their small universities.
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My youngest turned one today not that she really understands what went on. She seemed rather tired at dinner time all the way through cake and opening of gifts.
I am throwing away things that I know I will never need again. I threw away two more bottles today. I still have many bottles to throw away as I am afraid that my daughter will want change back but I am hoping that never happens. I will not throw away what is left of the formula until the one can is gone she will be on it and as soon as Monday she will be on half milk/half formula bottles. This reminds me I need to get hubby to pick up a new box of Cherrios for her so that she can get more inside her tummy during the day.
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Enough for this evening I need to call hubby he just finished his weekly radio show of whatever type of Jazz he listens to, personally I think of it as loud noise.
A Long Days Drive
I made it to Norman, OK and back up to Goodwell in about fourteen hours. I can now say I will be entering the festiveness of being on Prozac..I am so excited...well, not really but I had to change for cost purposes. My insurance company has taken Effexor off their preferred list and I am already paying a dollar a pill for my Trileptal/ Anti-seizure med thus I cannot afford two meds that I pay an arm and leg for every month or so.
I am really tired and do not feel like trying to write anymore this evening. I will say more tomorrow if anything else needs to be said. :-)
I am really tired and do not feel like trying to write anymore this evening. I will say more tomorrow if anything else needs to be said. :-)
Believe It!
I am headed to bed early this evening. I am really tired as it was a long day in the life of this stay at home mommy. I think it all started with the killing of my browser mouse here at the computer. My mouse shorted when I accidentally shocked it as I touched it after walking across the carpet. I have never had that happen before but both my hubby and I have noticed a high increase of static electricity in this last year, much of it because of the major draught we are experiencing in the panhandles of Oklahoma and Texas.
I have also had to deal with the antics of my daughters that seems to always drain any energy I may try and save up for a better more needing moment. I was also able to clean my daughters' room which was in desperate need of a major cleaning. I still need to get behind my middle daughter's daybed but damn that thing is a pain to move -- I wish it had wheels.
I am going to bed early for one main reason though and that is I must make my six hundred miles journey in one day to and from Norman, OK. I have a doctor there because almost six years ago I knew nowhere else to go in terms of finding a specialist so I went top Norman stupidly thinking that my MIL might be nice and let me stay over at her house for a night when I did have an appointment. Well, no she won't let me stay and she has her rights but it hurts badly, more than even she will ever realize as it makes me, my family, and even her son feel rejected. I feel so sorry for my husband in this matter because he would really like to have a relationship with his parents and his sister's and their families but he barely knows his family anymore.
Good Night, More Tomorrow.
I have also had to deal with the antics of my daughters that seems to always drain any energy I may try and save up for a better more needing moment. I was also able to clean my daughters' room which was in desperate need of a major cleaning. I still need to get behind my middle daughter's daybed but damn that thing is a pain to move -- I wish it had wheels.
I am going to bed early for one main reason though and that is I must make my six hundred miles journey in one day to and from Norman, OK. I have a doctor there because almost six years ago I knew nowhere else to go in terms of finding a specialist so I went top Norman stupidly thinking that my MIL might be nice and let me stay over at her house for a night when I did have an appointment. Well, no she won't let me stay and she has her rights but it hurts badly, more than even she will ever realize as it makes me, my family, and even her son feel rejected. I feel so sorry for my husband in this matter because he would really like to have a relationship with his parents and his sister's and their families but he barely knows his family anymore.
Good Night, More Tomorrow.
Who do I hope my readers are?
The hope is that my readers have a big sense of humor and can unbderstand that I love my children but without a sense of humor I would not get through an average day around this house. My middle daughter and son would make sure of that, if I am not dealing with the girl screaming I am dealing with the very sensitive son pouting and wiping tears from his face with his tee-shirt. The baby thankfully just looks on in wonder as she is not sure what is going on in the crazy animal house she is being asked to grow up in.
I then have my animals running around chasing each other around the house and during all that the Poochie is barking at one of the five cats. It is a lot of fun to watch them play or whatever it is they do.
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I just had to get up and break up a fight between the Babes and middle child because Babes was taking away the olders pants so she could not get dressed. What fun I must say. If I was her I would have left her so that she would go out and play faster thus have everything to mysef, but I am not Babes.
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So back to the question of who I hope my readers are: Understand! Understanding in the sense that what I say here is often a way to laugh at my frustrations of being a semi-misunderstood over-worked stay-at-home mommy whose hubby wants to believe that his work outside the home is tougher than staying at home with the kids twenty-four/seven.
I do not think that I demand much especially since I have been chalked up as a curt and abrasive woman whose comic way of relief is often misunderstood.
There is one thing I will ask of you when I call my kids Monsters know that it is meant as a term of endearment just as when I call my husband a Bum. I had a friend who in her short lifetime could never understand that because she never had children of her own, for reasons beyond her control. I loved her dearly but she would often get on to me over that fact and believe that it was because of the fact that I had depression. Yes, I did have severe depression, and still do that is why I take medication for it but that is not why I call my children Monsters. I call them that just as my husband calls them his 'Little Devils'.
My children are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I was told that because of my cerebral palsy and seizure disorder that I may never be able to have children or that they would be born with birth defects because of my anti-seizure medication and to have three very healthy children is a miracle. They have had no side effects unless you want to count my middle daughter having my personality as a side effect then well ok but that is a genetic thing not medication related.
I then have my animals running around chasing each other around the house and during all that the Poochie is barking at one of the five cats. It is a lot of fun to watch them play or whatever it is they do.
--
I just had to get up and break up a fight between the Babes and middle child because Babes was taking away the olders pants so she could not get dressed. What fun I must say. If I was her I would have left her so that she would go out and play faster thus have everything to mysef, but I am not Babes.
--
So back to the question of who I hope my readers are: Understand! Understanding in the sense that what I say here is often a way to laugh at my frustrations of being a semi-misunderstood over-worked stay-at-home mommy whose hubby wants to believe that his work outside the home is tougher than staying at home with the kids twenty-four/seven.
I do not think that I demand much especially since I have been chalked up as a curt and abrasive woman whose comic way of relief is often misunderstood.
There is one thing I will ask of you when I call my kids Monsters know that it is meant as a term of endearment just as when I call my husband a Bum. I had a friend who in her short lifetime could never understand that because she never had children of her own, for reasons beyond her control. I loved her dearly but she would often get on to me over that fact and believe that it was because of the fact that I had depression. Yes, I did have severe depression, and still do that is why I take medication for it but that is not why I call my children Monsters. I call them that just as my husband calls them his 'Little Devils'.
My children are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I was told that because of my cerebral palsy and seizure disorder that I may never be able to have children or that they would be born with birth defects because of my anti-seizure medication and to have three very healthy children is a miracle. They have had no side effects unless you want to count my middle daughter having my personality as a side effect then well ok but that is a genetic thing not medication related.
I Need Sleep Soon
I am extremely tired and am hoping to get through this rather quick. I am not sure why I am so tired as I did get a nap this afternoon after going to my favorite place, Wal-Mart to get some shoes for my youngest child who is finally trying to take her first step.
My youngest is also learning to use her sippy cup with ease. We actually got through a whole day without using a bottle. This is a very good thing because I am starting to throw away all bottles and do not want to see a regular baby bottle again until I have grandchildren.
I told my hubby tonight that this morning while flipping through the TV stations I came across 'Bringing up Baby' show on TLC and for the first time I did not want to be pregnant; this is a significant step for me because I loved being pregnant and would do it again if asked or if he wanted.
Anyway, I am out of here for the evening. I am not even sure I am going to make it to see Larry King Live that I watch on its second showing of the evening because the first time interferes with prime time TV.
My youngest is also learning to use her sippy cup with ease. We actually got through a whole day without using a bottle. This is a very good thing because I am starting to throw away all bottles and do not want to see a regular baby bottle again until I have grandchildren.
I told my hubby tonight that this morning while flipping through the TV stations I came across 'Bringing up Baby' show on TLC and for the first time I did not want to be pregnant; this is a significant step for me because I loved being pregnant and would do it again if asked or if he wanted.
Anyway, I am out of here for the evening. I am not even sure I am going to make it to see Larry King Live that I watch on its second showing of the evening because the first time interferes with prime time TV.
Why No Blog Entry Last Night!
I was unable to do my notmal blog entry before going to bed last night because my husband came home not long after he left for work holding his broken key exclaiming that he had no idea what happened or when. I thus decided that it would be best if I gave up the home computer so that he could do whatever he does on his computer at work, at home instead. Yes, every once in a long while I am nice and give up my computer when I am clearly not ready to do so, *snickers*.
I am here now way too early for me but then again I got frustrated as the same husband was snoring right in my ear. You would think that he would at least not snore in my ear after I gave up the computer last night but no he didn't, hehe. Believe it or not I really do love him a whole bunch and there is a whole lot I put up with for the love of my life.
I am here now way too early for me but then again I got frustrated as the same husband was snoring right in my ear. You would think that he would at least not snore in my ear after I gave up the computer last night but no he didn't, hehe. Believe it or not I really do love him a whole bunch and there is a whole lot I put up with for the love of my life.
My Son and Baby
These two have my husbands temper and thus are a needed releif from the torture I go through watching myself mirrored back at me by my middle daughter.
Don't ever get me wrong, I love my middle daughter the same as the other two: all I am saying is that she is the toughest to raise as she has a flairing temper just like my own. She can go from one extreme to the exact opposite in less than two seconds flat -- this is something that I did with my mom many a long days and nights.
If you have never had children or you do not have a flairing temper such as mine and my daughters then you have no idea what they hell I am talking about and that is a good thing because raising a calm easy tempered child is much easier than one that will scream even if the hat is not dropped.
I should blame my mom for all this mirroring that is occuring because she was the one that prayed that I ended up with a daughter exactly like me. Well, I got her and I love her very much but I do feel sorry for the rest of the family who must deal with the antics of the two strongest tempered people in our household.
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My son was rather cute sitting on the couch singing along to his new cd, Green Day, that I got him. He has most recently gotten into the Green Day band through the Kidz Bop cd's that he already owns. I must say that this is a thankful change from the once listened to Aaron Carter (AC) hellish cd's he listened to about two years ago. He used to think that AC was the bomb and nothing could top him. He ended up with two of his cd's he now wants to use as frizbee's.
My baby daughter watches her sister in awe as I am sure should would rather strangle her to get her to just shut up and do as their parents ask. I really wish I could get in her head and know exactly what she is thinking so that we could get a better feel what he life is like theus far.
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I spent my morning cleaning the hellish bathroom my son has peed all over because aiming seems to be something boys rarely learn or refuse to learn. You will have to trust me on this on but I did get it fully cleaned up before I drove an hour to the Super WalMart and JCPenney to do some much needed shopping for Easter, girls birthdays, and myself. I was also able to get a few items of food even though my cart was filled to the brim after I put a Radio Flyer Wagon in it that I will use with the girls as well as haul trash to the dumpster.
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OK, so that was my day and so how was yours?
Don't ever get me wrong, I love my middle daughter the same as the other two: all I am saying is that she is the toughest to raise as she has a flairing temper just like my own. She can go from one extreme to the exact opposite in less than two seconds flat -- this is something that I did with my mom many a long days and nights.
If you have never had children or you do not have a flairing temper such as mine and my daughters then you have no idea what they hell I am talking about and that is a good thing because raising a calm easy tempered child is much easier than one that will scream even if the hat is not dropped.
I should blame my mom for all this mirroring that is occuring because she was the one that prayed that I ended up with a daughter exactly like me. Well, I got her and I love her very much but I do feel sorry for the rest of the family who must deal with the antics of the two strongest tempered people in our household.
--
My son was rather cute sitting on the couch singing along to his new cd, Green Day, that I got him. He has most recently gotten into the Green Day band through the Kidz Bop cd's that he already owns. I must say that this is a thankful change from the once listened to Aaron Carter (AC) hellish cd's he listened to about two years ago. He used to think that AC was the bomb and nothing could top him. He ended up with two of his cd's he now wants to use as frizbee's.
My baby daughter watches her sister in awe as I am sure should would rather strangle her to get her to just shut up and do as their parents ask. I really wish I could get in her head and know exactly what she is thinking so that we could get a better feel what he life is like theus far.
--
I spent my morning cleaning the hellish bathroom my son has peed all over because aiming seems to be something boys rarely learn or refuse to learn. You will have to trust me on this on but I did get it fully cleaned up before I drove an hour to the Super WalMart and JCPenney to do some much needed shopping for Easter, girls birthdays, and myself. I was also able to get a few items of food even though my cart was filled to the brim after I put a Radio Flyer Wagon in it that I will use with the girls as well as haul trash to the dumpster.
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OK, so that was my day and so how was yours?
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