Don't Even Ask...

It is the end of the damn month and we have no money. My husband is a professor and I am a stay at home Mommy on Social Security Disability Insurance so that means we get paid two checks once a month thus we have no money at this time.

The fact is that Oklahoma does not care about the University where my husband works and thus he and his colleagues are the second to the last on the totem poll when it comes to pay.

I get so upset with this as many of them, my husband included, have spent much of their early adulthood life getting their Ph.D's only to get paid a menial wage for working over sixty hours a week, sometimes eighty. It really sucks and it looks like they will not even get a raise next academic year. Let us just hope that our rent for our rundown house on campus does not raise again -- the university seems to like to raise it no matter if they make improvements or not and trust me they drag their heels on everything unless it is related to plumbing because they pay the water bill.

Don't get me wrong, this is the best place to raise our three children as it is a small town and the people are wonderful -- this is the very reason why we stay. I know that I can send my son down the street to his friend's house and he will be safe; there is no way that I could do that in the Southern California communities I lived in as a child and teenager. Unfortunately, my son does not understand how lucky he is because this is the only place he remembers living in and the Columbia, Missouri community we lived in from the time he was two until age four and a half was safe as well.

Reality Sometimes Hurts

I really have very little, if anything, to say. I would like to say a lot but then I think twice because of the fact that what I want to say is political. I am usually quiet when it comes to my political beliefs but when George Bush became President for the second time I am angry as I see him doing many very illegal activities.

I don't even know where to start so I am not going to even try when it comes to identifying all the illegal things that Bush has done. I will just say it all started when Bush became President in 2000 in a very bizarre Supreme Court intervention after several recounts. If the real winner, Al Gore would have won all this illegal shit would probably not be an issue.

All I can say is: Thank you Republicans! You have Fucked up our government yet again. Open your eyes to the truth even though it may hurt as reality sometimes does.

So Frustrating

My life is anything but normal. I am a stay at home mother but that is mostly out of fear. The fear coming from an incident before I got into the Master's in Social Work program and fell down the stairs not sure if it was from a missed step or from fainting because all I remember was coming to in the security office at Target department store. This was alarming because of the fact that I remember nothing about the fall and I had my two front teeth chipped and the mouth and gums bleeding.

I also had two people, a manager and a security personnel, staring at me and asking me what I remembered. Well damn, the last thing I remembered was an employee walking up the stairs while I was walking down. The next thing I knew was in the security office. 'What the fuck happened?' was all I was thinking; that and has my husband been called. He was the only person I wanted to see, that was for sure.

After the incident, I had to have my two front teeth removed and a bridge put in the front. The whole procedure was not a simple thing as the workmen's comp and the insurance company for Target was refusing to pay. The dentist thus was holding the finishing of the dental work until he received some payment, not to mention the insurance company was withholding money until the dental work was done. It was hell and I was being held in limbo and my temporary partial front teeth had already broken and were hurting the roof of my mouth, not that anyone but myself cared.

I think it was about six to eight months, I think, before my bridge was in and the dental work finished.

I did return back to Target but I have to say that the stairs were hard to handle for psychological reasons. I only worked rarely after that because I did start my Master's program in August of that year (1997).

No, I am not scared of any other stair cases unless I have a headache and then I try and avoid any stairs what so ever. It is then that I also try and avoid hard floors as my headaches are usually migraines and thus I get very dizzy and nauseous.

My Days as a Say-at-Home Mommy

The day in the life of a stay at home mommy is a constant cycle of sameness (is that a word? Well it is now!).

I wake up at seven a.m. to Good Morning America's Charlie Gibson, Diane Sawyer, and Robin Roberts with the new weather guy that I am not even sure I know his name yet. I do this only to make sure my son gets down the street to catch the bus, down the street.

Then, I try and get some more sleep before the girls wake up, you will see later why I try and get as much sleep in the morning.

I then get awoken by my three year old between nine and ten because she wants breakfast and has usually screamed her way to my room thus waking up the littlest one.

The rest of the day is pretty mundane and boring. I get a bowl of cereal for the oldest girl and a bottle for the baby then I make coffee and will the coffee is being brewed I change a diaper, woohoo. After the baby has been changed and had her bottle she is usually off to take a nap and during that time I sit at the computer and drink my coffee and check email; and it my best friend is on we play online chess or pool at http://www.yahoo.com.

Lunchtime consists of another bottle being made and a diaper changed while the other daughter gets a mayonnaise sandwich and milk or apple juice and I get about four slices of toast. Sound like fun, oh yeah it is! Hehe!

Another nap is pending between one and three from which both girls at least lay down along with myself and many a times daddy. I find this Nep-time the best time of day.

Around three or four another bottle is wanted for the baby and well I thus get up and start my evening fun. In some senses it is like the day starts afresh at this time because I am in a better mood, sometimes at least. I usually check my email again when I wake up and sometimes play computer games on and offline depending on if my friend is on.

We eat dinner around seven p.m. and afterwards it is time to wind the kids down for the evening which usually takes three to four hours to get the three kids wound down enough to think about lying down for the night.

You are probably thinking what about your oldest son. Well he gets home from school around three-thirty p.m. and does whatever homework he has then goes to friends' houses until about seven-thirty because he says he gets bored around here. Ok, whatever! I usually end up throwing up my hands and let him go because if I try stopping him I must then here him sobbing and mooing for the next few hours. To his dad and I it is not worth listening to him, so we let him go.

Around nine-thirty or ten, after dinner and a bottle the baby goes to bed for the evening and then it is time for daddy to spend time with the middle girl until about ten-thirty when both her and our son head to bed. Our son usually stays in bed reading until eleven p.m. before finally falling asleep.

At around ten p.m. I start my daily household chores of laundry and dishes which take anywhere between a half hour to an hour. I usually use that same time to pick up the living room of toys and other stuff laying around the house.

The final hours of the night are spent trying to calm myself down enough to go to bed myself this take about three hours as the three kids wind me up so tight that I just veg watching CNN for the time being while playing Bookworm from which both my husband and I are addicted to, it is actually on my screen at the moment.

Who I Am

I am a stay at home Mommy of three wonderful children ages nine, four, and nine months. I have been married to their dad for nine years now and together with him for almost fourteen years.

I am also a writer and poet and have much of my work at www.writing.com/authors/melia. I have thus far written several children's stories and poems galore and have dabbled in the realm of novel writing with the first draft of two novels waiting for me to edit. I love to write with a purpose of educating others. My mission statement is: "To educate people in regards to disabilities. People with disabilities are just like everyone else, with a unique twist added on. "

I have also become more political than even I like because of the stupidity of the United States voting public who re-elected a man that was, and even more so is, as stupid as a slug for President. He has done so many things that are beyond questionable and beyond legal but because he is President and a son of a former President he gets away with it. The sad thing is my son is more responsible for his actions then that President M0onkeyman -- I believe my son even has a higher education than he does as well. Let's face it when you got as much fucking money as the Bush Clan does all they had to do was buy their way into a degree program and buy their deplomas to make it look good on a damn resumè. What the hell do mothers and fathers who voted for Bush the first and second time tell their children? -- I am sorry, I had no idea! God that is a lie. 'Like father like son,' as the clichè goes. Voters knew what they were getting into because they knew how crappy the first Bush did while in office.

Bush sucks is all I shall say. Yeah I know this will never get me into the White House but you know what I would never want to meet our fucking President, anyway. I will wait until he is out of office and/or in prison before I go to the White House for anything. It is not like I will ever get invited to the place anyway. -- not as a Presidential guest.