Me Depressed? Yes! With NO Answers!

I must always be frustrated at one thing or another because my anger is rather high at this time. I am not sure where to start because there is no beginning. I know my damn insurance companies is not covering my anti-depressant/Effexor anymore and my pharmacist cannot tell me if they will cover anything until I need to refill my prescription. Well damn I just got that prescription refilled last Tuesday for a period of fifty days.

I had to rely on Klonopin for the first time in years to relax me enough to not yell at my children too much and calm down enough as not to start throwing things around the house. I am not even sure it is really working as I still feel rather shaky and wound up rather tightly. I should mention that I have the most fabulous husband that does take much stress off me in the evening as he takes care of the three children all ten and under but still the things they say and do set me off in a minute second.

I am a stay at home depressed mommy who also has cerebral palsy and social anxiety disorder find that all these challenges are sometimes above and beyond what I can truly handle. In the community I have somehow been able to hide it with a smile and a lie that I am doing "F.I.N.E."
Of course, my husband once had a professor who told him and other students that the word FINE had a double meaning which is: Fucked-up, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotion. The definition fits my Fines many of times.

I hope that my depression is not become the center of my life again but I am guessing the evilness and numbness is creeping back into my life yet again after a hiatus more than a year.